Funny Status Messages for Christmas (v2.0)

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Posted by TJ on Wednesday December 24, 2014 @ 01:57 PM
[Tags: toplist, status, humor]

Below are some funny status messages or tweets related to santa, presents, christmas, , and elfs. If you like these you can browse more related funny status messages here: tjshome.com/statusmessages.php?f=&o=r&q=santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs.

155251 X says You may remember me from such events as ruining Christmas dinner. Submitted: 12-21-2014 01:11 by Baddie
155204 X says Christmas Gift idea: Take her to the Planetarium so she can see the world doesn't revolve around her. Submitted: 12-18-2014 23:48 by Baddie
155063 X says This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half ass jingler. Submitted: 12-13-2014 17:06
97586 X says I need to do laundry so bad I'm actually wearing Christmas stockings Submitted: 04-21-2012 05:41 by flinnie
11015 X says Dear Santa: How much for your list with all the naughty girls on it? Submitted: 12-17-2009 07:54 by Samir Momin
155191 X Must you really ask why I have my selfie on top of my Christmas tree? Submitted: 12-18-2014 15:21 by Jeffafa
40939 X It only took 6 drinks but I'm starting to feel the Christmas spirit. Submitted: 12-25-2010 03:07 by ff1241
84733 X Kids complaining they didn't get an iPhone for Christmas or got one in the wrong color is exactly why other countries hate us. Submitted: 12-26-2011 16:39 by hihuggiehi
119565 X The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 7 more times before then. Submitted: 12-19-2012 07:16 by Marshall the Great
116536 X says Santa put me in charge of the naughty list this year. So if you have been naughty inbox me so we can talk about your punishment and gift. Submitted: 11-09-2012 01:41
82728 X is ? ? ?? ? On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, Submitted: 12-12-2011 07:08
61105 X is I'm pretty sure my Internet Explorer �error reports� end up the same place my letters to Santa do. Submitted: 06-19-2011 21:27 by BEGO
11619 X People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. Submitted: 12-29-2009 09:00 by Brades
36690 X says my neighbors put their Christmas decorations up early, so I put my Easter stuff out just to one-up them. Submitted: 11-11-2010 20:22 by boomtastic
40143 X I asked my daughter to make a list of things she wants from Santa, and her reply was "I don't need to make Santa a wish list, daddy. He's been watching me all year...he knows what I want!" I'm &#%ked. Submitted: 12-16-2010 18:24
39692 X I drove by a house today that had about 15 of those inflatable Christmas lawn decorations. In the daytime it looks like there was a drive by shooting in the North Pole and there were no survivors. Submitted: 12-13-2010 00:19
39009 X .???..it's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas...??? Submitted: 12-06-2010 12:33
50294 X It"s ok to pretend you're Irish on St. Patrick's Day. You pretend you're good on Christmas, don't you? Submitted: 03-17-2011 12:05 by Marshall the Great
153224 X says A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again." Submitted: 09-27-2014 15:34 by SEAN
40465 X No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber. Submitted: 12-20-2010 14:04 by lemonpillow
81277 X is I just saved a bunch of money on Christmas by switching to single Submitted: 11-29-2011 20:35
84898 X hors d'oevures now there is a word that snooty people like to use regularly, most of us just say "snacks" and we survive the holidays just fine. Submitted: 12-28-2011 01:21 by smeebert
84592 X is I hope everybody enjoys the new air guitar I sent them for Christmas. Submitted: 12-25-2011 14:42
120078 X Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress. Submitted: 12-25-2012 19:24 by Mickey
30787 X I returned an online purchase and the form said for your security, please use Fedex, UPS, USPS, DHL or Parcel Post. Exactly what other options do they think I'm considering? Horse? Catapult? Helicopter drop? Santa? Submitted: 09-05-2010 20:25
80959 X NBA's first games start Christmas day....Worst Christmas present EVER!! Submitted: 11-27-2011 08:00 by K-Mac
41364 X is trying to think of a good way to show off to everyone the superman underwear I got for Christmas. Submitted: 12-31-2010 03:15 by ff1241
40444 X just got my Xmas wishlist back from Santa with a little note attached... It said "LMAO! HELL NO!!!! Submitted: 12-20-2010 07:47 by Elbow
41041 X is Thinking about celebrating Christmas a week after Christmas for now on. Then I will be able to buy the same gifts at 60% off! Submitted: 12-27-2010 06:48 by Djmiller
155033 X says Dear Santa don't drink the milk at Bill Cosby's house!!! Submitted: 12-12-2014 17:18 by @gnarleycharley
40767 X says Dear kids, there is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents love, Wikileaks Submitted: 12-23-2010 05:17
81389 X Dear Santa I've been good all year! Ok most of the time. I Mean once in a while. Oh...F*ck it, I'll buy my own sh#t....... Submitted: 11-30-2011 09:24 by sully
31070 X In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys. Submitted: 09-09-2010 22:52 by Aaron
83237 X is Dear Santa, I didn't want to make it too hard for you this year, so, the only thing on my list this year is 1 year paid leave from work. with bonus Submitted: 12-15-2011 06:39
24827 X so far so good.... no unexpected father's day cards or presents! Submitted: 06-20-2010 15:40
39834 X *<]:{ > Dear Santa, This year all I want for Christmas is thick hair and a thin body and please don't get it backwards like you did last year [:p Submitted: 12-14-2010 12:38 by AT
39382 X has Decided to put up a Christmas tree this year....wrestled with it a bit..finally got in in place... it smells like Christmas now.. and it looks so cool, hanging from my car's rearview mirror :) Submitted: 12-09-2010 19:04 by franknsign
38692 X says Do car companies REALLY think it's possible that a spouse is secretly able to obtain financing, purchase a car, have it wrapped in a bow, and delivered on Christmas Eve? Submitted: 12-02-2010 18:28
141445 X says Parenting gets a lot harder when you can no longer say "I'm calling Santa!" Submitted: 12-03-2013 16:55 by EF
You can browse thousands more of our funny status messages here: http://tjshome.com/statusmessages.php .