Joser Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I'm not at all ashamed to admit that I pick my hotels solely based upon the items they show in the pictures of their continental breakfast.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 18:33 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do Edward Cullen and a Christmas tree have in common? Their tiny balls sparkle.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 22:51 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm proud of the fact that 87% of my day is just me making faces at my coworker while his back is turned.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 22:50 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have to go to work after getting my braces tighten, so this will be a good test to see which is more enjoyable.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 17:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard that if you sneak into the new twilight movie and blast justin bieber, the combination impregnates everyone.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 17:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Psst. Hey. Europe is asleep. Let's talk sh*t about them.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 17:34 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you accept a penny for your thoughts, not only are you a philosophical prostitute. You're not a very good one.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 17:33 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would consider becoming Catholic if they made Batman Pope.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 17:33 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon These lemons are half empty.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 17:33 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon These food stamps taste terrible...
←Rate | 07-01-2010 17:31 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 17:30 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Summer weather; it's not the heat, its the stupidity...
←Rate | 06-30-2010 22:11 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your relationship is so complicated that you have to identify it as such on Facebook, you should probably get the hell off Facebook and go fix it.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 22:11 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that if at first you don't succeed, you should pray that your future Honor Roll student takes care of you.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 22:10 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon A smoking section in a restaurant is like a peeing section in a swimming pool...
←Rate | 06-30-2010 21:23 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never looking back doesn't make you an optimist, lady, it makes you a horrible driver.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 17:53 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The dog keeps licking his butt and staring at me. I don't feel bad for him though. I tried to give him toilet paper and he ate it.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 17:53 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wouldn't mind all the diving and faking in soccer if, at random times during each game, a trapdoor opened to a pit of hungry crocodiles.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 17:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's simply way too hot today for me to believe global warming is real.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 17:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm starting to get a bit worried that Canada isn't going to win the World Cup this year.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 17:51 by Joser Comments (0)  



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