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Joser Funny Status Messages
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Page: 9 of 41
I'm proud of the fact that 87% of my day is just me making faces at my coworker while his back is turned.
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07-01-2010 22:50 by
Joser
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I have to go to work after getting my braces tighten, so this will be a good test to see which is more enjoyable.
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07-01-2010 17:39 by
Joser
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I heard that if you sneak into the new twilight movie and blast justin bieber, the combination impregnates everyone.
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07-01-2010 17:38 by
Joser
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Psst. Hey. Europe is asleep. Let's talk sh*t about them.
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07-01-2010 17:34 by
Joser
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If you accept a penny for your thoughts, not only are you a philosophical prostitute. You're not a very good one.
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07-01-2010 17:33 by
Joser
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I would consider becoming Catholic if they made Batman Pope.
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07-01-2010 17:33 by
Joser
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These lemons are half empty.
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07-01-2010 17:33 by
Joser
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These food stamps taste terrible...
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07-01-2010 17:31 by
Joser
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We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
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07-01-2010 17:30 by
Joser
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Summer weather; it's not the heat, its the stupidity...
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06-30-2010 22:11 by
Joser
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If your relationship is so complicated that you have to identify it as such on Facebook, you should probably get the hell off Facebook and go fix it.
137
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06-30-2010 22:11 by
Joser
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thinks that if at first you don't succeed, you should pray that your future Honor Roll student takes care of you.
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06-30-2010 22:10 by
Joser
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A smoking section in a restaurant is like a peeing section in a swimming pool...
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06-30-2010 21:23 by
Joser
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Never looking back doesn't make you an optimist, lady, it makes you a horrible driver.
18
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06-30-2010 17:53 by
Joser
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The dog keeps licking his butt and staring at me. I don't feel bad for him though. I tried to give him toilet paper and he ate it.
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06-30-2010 17:53 by
Joser
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I wouldn't mind all the diving and faking in soccer if, at random times during each game, a trapdoor opened to a pit of hungry crocodiles.
19
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06-30-2010 17:52 by
Joser
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It's simply way too hot today for me to believe global warming is real.
11
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06-30-2010 17:52 by
Joser
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0
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I'm starting to get a bit worried that Canada isn't going to win the World Cup this year.
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06-30-2010 17:51 by
Joser
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I'd still choose rock over paper in a real fight.
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06-30-2010 17:50 by
Joser
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Customs: "Do you have anything to declare?" Me: "I declare a thumb war?" Customs: "Security!" Me: "I mean rum! Lots and lots of rum!"
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06-29-2010 22:39 by
Joser
Comments (
1
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