Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   if you have already read the books please don't spoil the ending of the world cup

   So Ronaldo & Friends, sorry I mean Portugal got knocked out of the world cup last night.

   When you look at the time left on a movie and you start panicking because you feel there’s still so much left to do and so little time left.

   A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.

   The first thing I do in a relationship is panic.

   The way to a man's heart is through the kitchen.

   Dear customer service: I’m typing this with my middle fingers, if that tells you anything about my satisfaction.

   Fellas; There is no need to have a Facebook war. There are enough women to go around on Facebook for you to have a fake relationship with.

   Nothing has ever bothered me more than when a math question ended with “how many people does it take?” and your answer had a fraction.

   It wasn't weird until you expected me to act normal.

   Dating tip: Never let your girlfriend know you’re good at something you hate doing.

   I'm no expert but I think your Facebook status updates can be used for your insanity defense.

   Coffee is just a hug for your insides.

   Have you ever told someone you'd be ready in 10 minutes and 4 hours later you're still on Facebook?

   A Rape Whistle.....But for unwanted conversation.

   Well done, you are popular on Social Media. Sorry about the rest of your life.

   I tried being myself once... I got arrested.

   Being polite and rational - a woman's ultimate warning sign something is wrong.

   I'm at my most popular when I just want to be alone.

   Thanks to coffee I'm no longer exhausted. I'm alert and exhausted instead.