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Czovczov Funny Status Messages
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Page: 8 of 11
Why do men talk dirty? So they can wash their mouths out with beer.
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15
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02-29-2012 12:30 by
Czovczov
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Would it be ironic if you died in the living room?
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02-29-2012 13:35 by
Czovczov
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My wife was shocked when she found out I switched her vibrator with a taser.
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03-03-2012 13:34 by
Czovczov
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The only good part about reuniting with an ex is that having sex with them doesn't change the number of people you've slept with.
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03-03-2012 13:47 by
Czovczov
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Someone needs to invent a pill that makes saving money feel as good as spending it.
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03-06-2012 13:22 by
Czovczov
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I'm not a bank but I can tell you that I have 0% interest in what you're saying right now.
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03-06-2012 13:43 by
Czovczov
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When you die and God asks what you did with your life, try not to say, "Didn't you read my tweets and Facebook updates?"
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03-07-2012 12:44 by
Czovczov
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When I exercise at the gym, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.
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03-07-2012 13:32 by
Czovczov
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My reputation as a ladies' man is a joke that has often caused me to laugh bitterly through the ten thousand nights I have spent alone.
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03-10-2012 04:09 by
Czovczov
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Ladies: If your guy gives you his jacket when you are cold, he expects you to give him sex when he's horny.
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03-10-2012 05:00 by
Czovczov
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If you don't drink, you're boring and all your stories end the same way with, “and then I got home and went to sleep.”
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03-10-2012 05:30 by
Czovczov
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Dude, she just called you a Mexican... Oh hell no, hold my taco.
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03-10-2012 12:46 by
Czovczov
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My thoughts of you make me the perfect mixture of happy and horny.
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03-12-2012 13:50 by
Czovczov
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I remember when the M in MTV stood for Music not Maternity.
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03-12-2012 14:47 by
Czovczov
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Regardless of what they say, Romance is NOT dead. It's just playing dead. Kiss someone's lips to resuscitate it.
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03-14-2012 13:31 by
Czovczov
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Sometimes I wish I was like my calendar, it always has dates.
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03-14-2012 13:42 by
Czovczov
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I was violently beating this guy with a club when I realized, "I can find a better weapon than this stupid poker card"
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03-16-2012 13:58 by
Czovczov
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Marijuana is the gateway drug to a very large value meal.
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03-16-2012 14:28 by
Czovczov
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"You've changed" No actually I think the proper term is, "I've stopped trying to please you."
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03-17-2012 12:38 by
Czovczov
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0
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I got pulled over for drunk driving last night. In my defense I didn't even know I was driving.
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03-17-2012 13:00 by
Czovczov
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