Funny Status Messages

   It's very easy to sacrifice for a friends whats really hard is to find a friend who deserve it

   says; Life is so much easier than we think -- All we have to do is this: Accept the impossible, discard the indispensable, put up with the intolerable, and just smile at anything... of coarse doing these things is so much easier on drugs :)

   When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you're pretty much dead no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

   WARNING: GIVEADAMN.exe failed to load. Operation aborted.

   What's better?..A hot woman drinking more than you or that same woman buying you drinks?

   Hates when people come inside her work when its nice out and says "It's so nice out too nice to be inside!" Thanks I couldn't tell it was too nice to be working, guess that big yellow thing in sky isn't a lemon!!!!!

   note to self: even if someone really needs it, strangling them is still illegal. o_o

   there is a midget in line in front of me at the Walgreens. He has a bag of pork rinds and a box of condoms...my question...which one do you think was the impulse buy?

   Where did Macaulay Culkin get the cardboard people for the party in Home Alone? Don't tell me you haven't also wondered this from time to time.

   got rid of my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust.

   Don't talk about yourself so much in front of some friends... they do it when you leave

   My new years resolution is act like I am interested in your new years resolution

   Does anyone find themselves singing hollaback girl anytime they need to spell the word bananas?

   if you're on a dating site and put that your "not looking for anything serious" in your profile why not be honest and just say "l need to get laid!"

   "A man must be Big enough to admit his mistakes, Strong enough to fix them, & Smart enough to listen to me next time!"

   Due to the politcal climate in America today, all "Target" stores will be changing their names to "Objective"

   Love is a matter of chemistry,sex is a matter of physics.

   Baldly going where no man has gone before…

   Well,today was a total waste of makeup.

   wondering if they sell over-priced bottles of water in Fiji called America?