Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 720 of 5593

   messageicon BBC NEWS: Government plans to ban all Internet porn. On an unrelated note, does anyone want to buy a laptop?
←Rate | 12-21-2010 07:15 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can someone please tell mew when tv becomes "new" again? Everything claims "all new" but all I see is the same old garbage.
←Rate | 01-22-2011 22:08 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't stand those interfering people who bang on your door and tell you how you need to be "saved" or you'll "burn"? Damn firemen.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 14:14 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon realized that a dog is truly a mans best friend. Locked the dog and the wife in the car boot for 1hour. Guess who was happy to see me and who wasn't??
←Rate | 07-22-2010 23:31 by samdave69 Comments (2)  


   messageicon If blow jobs were this popular 25 years ago. I might not be here today
←Rate | 08-06-2010 21:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To bad you can't photoshop your UGLY personality...
←Rate | 08-09-2010 23:39 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.
←Rate | 08-15-2010 12:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that just once I'd like to see a realistic tampon commercial, an actress sobbing herself to sleep with a half-chewed Snickers in her mouth.
←Rate | 10-23-2010 19:28 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Don't tell other people your problems. 90% of people don't care, and the other 10% are glad you have them.
←Rate | 11-05-2010 15:21 by CharlieTuna Comments (0)  


   messageicon just released a new drink which contains Viagra instead of caffine called.... Mount -n-do
←Rate | 03-18-2010 01:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever you think your job sucks, remember; At least you're not the guy, at Instagram, that has to search for and delete all the d!ck pics.
←Rate | 09-11-2012 20:25 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most people spend their time trying to find someone to sleep with, instead of finding someone worth waking up to.
←Rate | 04-22-2013 19:28 by Umad Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that girls in tampon commercials laugh and dance ? shouldn't they be revving chainsaws and burning shit down
←Rate | 08-23-2012 01:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If today drags anymore, it's going to come out of the closet in a sexy little dress
←Rate | 07-30-2013 11:08 by joseph robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the person is more than 25 feet away from you, holding the door is creepy.
←Rate | 08-30-2013 23:15 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found a Fruit Roll-Up in my pocket, which means one of my kids has a peach flavored blunt in their lunch box.
←Rate | 09-06-2013 13:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
←Rate | 12-19-2012 01:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One man's Facebook crush is probably another man's nagging wife or girlfriend.
←Rate | 12-27-2012 08:02 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Math problem: If you have 3 cats and you buy another 2 cats, how long before you die alone?
←Rate | 01-15-2013 08:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people walk by and say "Hi, how are you?" but they don't stop long enough for you to reply!
←Rate | 01-16-2013 00:04 by Tabu Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left