goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   To the Athiests that use the Lord's name in vein, make up your mind. Do you believe or not?

   Ever find out your wiper wash is empty AFTER you have smeared bug guts all over your windshield?

   Boba Fett was an embarrassment to us all- Dog the Bounty Hunter

   (posted on my wife's wall this morning) Good morning Sunshine. You see that stack of bills on the counter? That's how many times I thought of you today...

   So if I win the Mega Millions tonight, maybe I can move my name from my shirt to the front of the building at work ((fingers crossed)).

   You make me hold it for 250 miles, good luck on the last twenty feet A$$HOLE!-Bladder

   My Supervisor is complaining that he's tired of eating chicken all the time, as I sit here eating a "chicken flavored" cup of noodles.

   Hiding in the restroom at work, just to post this (;

   Damn Guess it's time to get out of the tub, my phones almost dead.

   A good box of wine will turn any ordinary meal into an extraordinary meal.

   If you call my house and fail to leave a message, you deserve to be screened.

   “A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body.”

   What's up with Melissa Gilbert's prison tattoos?

   The only good thing about the fog, is you can pull off the road and piss without being judged by others.

   Hopefully Don Cornelius really is on the Soul Train to Heaven...

   believes every road in the world is under construction right now!

   I guess it's time to go to the grocery store. A mouse hung himself in the fridge with a note saying "Sorry,can't live like this anymore".

   This time of year makes me miss the two guys from the old Miller's Outpost commercials.

   I take an on ramp to the freeway as if I'm heading to the checkered flag...wish everyone else did!!

   I'm trying not to judge, but your silver front teeth scream "Medi-Cal".