Joser Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon a bartender is just an under-qualified pharmacist.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:50 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon A procrastinator's work is never done.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:44 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've lost most of my hearing, but it's okay because it turns out the only thing people say to me is "nothing, nevermind."
←Rate | 07-07-2010 16:44 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The cost of a stamp is going up 2 cents. I'll e-mail all my friends and let them know.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 16:25 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.
←Rate | 07-06-2010 17:41 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women h
←Rate | 07-06-2010 17:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon You post one little joke saying you won the lottery and Facebook finds you 1,347 new possible relatives.
←Rate | 07-06-2010 17:25 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon for every action there will be someone to have a complete overreaction.
←Rate | 07-06-2010 17:24 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I honestly don't care if you think I'm crazy. You're just a figment of my imagination anyway. Coffee:
←Rate | 07-06-2010 17:23 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon beer doesn't make me post better Facebook Status updates, it just makes me not care what you think of them.
←Rate | 07-06-2010 17:22 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon So yeah I just went outside and I'm pretty sure I won't be doing that again until at least October.
←Rate | 07-06-2010 17:18 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Hangover" makes it sounds like it's all done now. I'd like to propose the term "hanghappening".
←Rate | 07-06-2010 17:17 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Leprosy can't be all bad. It has "rosy" in its name!" -super positive counselor at a leper colony
←Rate | 07-06-2010 17:13 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I suspect my Girl might be OCD because she performs a few bizarre rituals. For example, she just made our bed. Who does that?
←Rate | 07-06-2010 17:11 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can buy my own sugar. What I need is an insurance mama...
←Rate | 07-06-2010 17:08 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm on the best diet ever. It's called the "I'm too hungover to eat" diet.
←Rate | 07-06-2010 17:02 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon When your favorite song comes on and you excitedly say "Yo this is my jam!" You should know, I die a little bit inside for knowing you.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:47 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My front door mat actually says "Come back with a warrant."
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:46 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Grandpa's ghost hovers all around the house. It's scary!" "He's not dead! And that's his Hoveround power chair!" "Well, he smells dead."
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:45 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The squirrels are mocking me by doing that spiral-run-up-a-tree thing. They know I wish I could do that and how stupid I look when I try.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:42 by Joser Comments (0)  



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