snotty Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Hey person calling from a blocked number, I'm not answering...... Ever.
←Rate | 03-30-2013 11:56 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know it's 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
←Rate | 04-06-2012 18:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time someone presses the elevator button you've already pressed,,, act totally impressed & tell them they did it waaaay better than you.
←Rate | 04-08-2012 08:31 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was single, I would have a stick figure of myself on the back of my car next to a bag of cash.
←Rate | 05-28-2012 08:47 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Question: : What do you get if you add human DNA to a goat? ... Answer: Kicked out of the petting zoo
←Rate | 12-30-2013 17:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never win at Scrable
←Rate | 03-31-2012 21:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a theory that the world will end in 5105, and we've been reading the Mayan calendar upside down
←Rate | 01-11-2012 18:04 by snotty Comments (2)  


   messageicon I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
←Rate | 03-21-2012 18:15 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon My neighbor is the CEO of a factory that makes annoying children
←Rate | 03-30-2012 11:23 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favourite part of driving through my state,, is the four-mile stretch of highway that isn’t under construction.
←Rate | 04-15-2015 15:36 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hello and welcome to DeVry orientation.. Sign-in sheets are on the left, Steve is passing out your diplomas,,, thanks & congrats class of 10:47.
←Rate | 02-02-2014 07:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got my killer quads from hovering over public toilets.
←Rate | 10-19-2014 18:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Eggnog is perfect for when you feel like drinking a glass of pancake batter.
←Rate | 11-23-2014 18:41 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I LOVE sleeping,,,,,, It's like being dead,,, Without all the commitment
←Rate | 01-07-2012 13:35 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My driver's side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I'm probably gonna starve to death..
←Rate | 08-11-2012 11:11 by snotty Comments (5)  


   messageicon Somehow,, We've got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
←Rate | 02-19-2013 07:40 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
←Rate | 04-08-2013 08:54 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am.... 'My 1st car had an ashtray'... years old.
←Rate | 08-23-2013 08:03 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nice try fat families with stick figure people on the back of their van
←Rate | 06-11-2013 20:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Glad to hear we've all been picked up for another season.
←Rate | 12-22-2012 07:32 by snotty Comments (0)  



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