Snotty Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Snotty': View All Messages
Page: 7 of 22

   messageicon The inventor of the doorbell OBVIOUSLY did not own a chihuahua
←Rate | 08-06-2012 12:30 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I glued the TV remote to my wife. I'm expecting her to go missing any second now.
←Rate | 08-06-2013 08:44 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's nothing more terrifying than accidentally making eye contact with a mall kiosk worker.
←Rate | 08-10-2013 10:06 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sight of naked cleavage reduces a man's ability to reason by 50% ... Per boob.
←Rate | 12-07-2012 16:49 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon By the volume of the pans clanging amd slamming in the kitchen... I think I'm supposed to be volunteering to help with something
←Rate | 08-28-2012 07:23 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pretty sure I look forward to my boss' vacation's more than he does.
←Rate | 07-24-2013 19:45 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so old... I grew up in an era where you had to go to channel 3 to play video games.
←Rate | 01-18-2012 20:08 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing
←Rate | 01-11-2012 17:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Any way you can speed this up, officer? I'm obviously in a hurry."
←Rate | 08-02-2013 19:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congrats on winning an argument with your woman...... Your prize is a night on the couch.
←Rate | 09-01-2013 17:22 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had a mishap while making coffee just now that is best explained through interpretive dance...
←Rate | 03-31-2012 14:52 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms... 2. Describing tumors... 3. Playing golf
←Rate | 04-30-2014 07:32 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say men think about sex every 7 seconds, so when I eat a hotdog I try to finish it in 6 seconds so it doesn’t get awkward.
←Rate | 02-06-2016 07:32 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Possible "Breaking Amish" sequels:.. #1:Friday Night Without Lights... #2:That 1870's Show... #3:The Big Barn Theory...#4:Not-Modern Family
←Rate | 09-26-2014 19:12 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon *whispers* ...and here we have a teen loading a washer with clothes--unprovoked... A rare sight, seldom witnessed outside captivity.
←Rate | 09-21-2013 08:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to this bathroom stall,,, my ex changed her number again.
←Rate | 10-12-2013 10:47 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dad's TV volume is always set at "screw the neighbors".
←Rate | 10-20-2013 07:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook: "Do you want to tag Jennifer in this Picture?" Me: Hmmmm. does it make her look fat? Then yes, yes I do.
←Rate | 10-28-2013 17:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most frustrating thing I've ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.
←Rate | 12-13-2015 19:44 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it's safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
←Rate | 03-05-2013 12:44 by snotty Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left