Joser Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Joser': View All Messages
Page: 7 of 41

   messageicon headed out for a quiet beer. Followed by ten noisy ones...
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The gang war between the squirrels and the raccoons must be escalating, based on the number of drive-by victims on the side of the road.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:15 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon After all these years, I'm surprised nobody at CSI has found the light switch in their office.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Condom says to Tampax.."You put me outta Business for 1 week a month. Tampax says to Condom..."If you don't do your job I lose mine for 9 months."
←Rate | 04-28-2010 13:46 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was going to go to the gym and run 7 miles this morning to continue trying to look good but then I remembered I own Photoshop.
←Rate | 06-01-2010 13:27 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon A trip to Wal-Mart is all the proof I need that ugly isn't an effective means of birth control
←Rate | 06-07-2010 12:42 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I laid awake all night again worrying about why I'm always so tired
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:24 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing I hate more than people who make fun of other people is people who don't laugh when I do it.
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:21 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry about people from your past, There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
←Rate | 05-24-2010 11:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear BP, None of this would've happened if you had hired the best deep core drilling team -- Bruce Willis, Owen Wilson, Ben Affleck, and the big black guy from Green Mile.
←Rate | 06-01-2010 13:21 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 17:48 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stupid bloody garbage trucks waking me up at noon.
←Rate | 05-20-2010 16:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon "If I weren't such an alcoholic I would throw my drink in your face"
←Rate | 06-01-2010 13:08 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Father's Day to all the Dads who went out to get some milk, and actually came back home.
←Rate | 06-20-2010 22:06 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon One night stands in hotel rooms just don't do it for me anymore. ...That's why I always ask for a bed with two night stands.
←Rate | 05-01-2010 14:30 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a transvesite goes missing, would youu put their face on a carton of Half and Half?
←Rate | 04-06-2010 05:08 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm waiting for the day Ziploc quits the pretentiousness with the sandwiches and just starts putting weed right on the box.
←Rate | 05-06-2010 21:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I meant to text: 'sweety pie'. What I actually texted: 'sweaty pig'. Proofreading: it can save relationships.
←Rate | 05-14-2010 19:01 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity...
←Rate | 06-26-2010 14:25 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relax. If you didn't want me knocking it over, why the hell did you write "tip jar" on it? Just for that, I'm taking my 15 cents back...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 09:05 by Joser Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left