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Doc Noland Funny Status Messages
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Page: 7 of 30
Winter trees at sunset have the look of a lonely old man realizing there will be no visitors today.
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12-30-2011 17:29 by
Doc Noland
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I just plugged in a USB cord on the first try. Some lucky lady is in for a treat tonight.
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10-06-2013 19:27 by
Doc Noland
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Have you ever seen the Cookie Monsters feet? No. thats diabetes for you.
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05-26-2012 13:39 by
Doc Noland
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Whenever you feel powerless, remind yourself that a single one of your turds can shut down an entire water-park.
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07-08-2011 23:45 by
Doc Noland
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I've never gone down on a man, but I'm probably pretty amazing at it from all the times I've stopped soda fizz from overflowing.
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11-12-2012 19:53 by
Doc Noland
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I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
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08-06-2014 16:23 by
Doc Noland
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Its Friday, Anything worth doing is worth doing weird.
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10-19-2012 08:37 by
Doc Noland
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I want a firsthand test of the "mo money, mo problems" hypothesis.
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12-16-2014 06:45 by
Doc Noland
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When does the Brazilian Pole Dancing Team come on?
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07-29-2012 21:27 by
Doc Noland
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I just f@rted so hard, my bluetooth rattled and my phone gave me directions to 3 area hospitals
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04-01-2013 10:48 by
Doc Noland
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I bet The Kardashians' have a ton of leftover white meat on Thanksgiving.
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11-23-2011 14:26 by
Doc Noland
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hoping to be part of a wordless briefcase exchange someday.
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05-14-2011 19:12 by
doc noland
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I need a better plan of action when my phone rings than throwing it.
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08-06-2014 16:26 by
Doc Noland
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For every time a woman replies "fine" to you, you lose a day off your life.
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12-15-2014 20:34 by
Doc Noland
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I can tell I'm getting older because I need flaxseed, coffee, fiber supplements, a laptop, an iPod and a smartphone in order to take a poop.
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01-04-2012 15:50 by
Doc Noland
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So much for the saying, 3rd times a charm, I just checked my Mega Millions ticket for the 3rd time, and still nothing.
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03-31-2012 08:52 by
Doc Noland
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When measuring your pen!s, you start from your prostate, right?
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10-10-2011 00:21 by
Doc Noland
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Guys do a pretty good impression of a meerkat whenever a pretty girl walks into a crowded bar.
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11-23-2011 13:08 by
Doc Noland
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If a girl got naked in front of me at this point , I'd probably jerk off out of habit, and fold her in half like my laptop when I'm done.
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06-07-2012 20:15 by
Doc Noland
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Taylor Swift just waved at a boy and he didn't wave back so now she's got a new album coming out tomorrow.
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08-22-2013 19:45 by
Doc Noland
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