BEGO Funny Status Messages

   In America, we will eventually have a President that used to play Pokemon as a child. Scary.

   I don't like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

   What to do when you're wrong: a) admit you're wrong, b) make adjustments, c) move along.

   What I do when I'm hungry: ( ) get up and get food (x) moan like a dying whale until someone feeds me

   The term "good girl" becomes irrelevant if she is hanging out after 2AM.

   Just because I don't tell anyone, doesn't mean that problems doesn't exist in my life.

   There are always two ways to look at things. I prefer to look at them my way.

   Sometimes love is like having one too many drinks....you feel so good that you don't notice you're making a fool of yourself.

   MATH = Mental Abuse To Humans

   Do you ever get the feeling your being watched? Because if its bothering you, I'll stop...

   I don't look outside windows at night because I'm scared of seeing a face.

   It makes me sad when people say they married their best friend, mainly cuz marriage between a man & beer will never be legal.

   My recycling guy knows 2 things about me... I don't recycle very often and I like beer.

   My girlfriend said she gives up and can't see me anymore. I am amazing at hide and go seek.

   I want to meet the teenage versions of my parents.

   Time is not wasted, when your wasted all the time" ~Benjamin Franklin (I think.)

   advises all the young people, "Do not grow up; it's a trap!!"

   Jay-Z has vowed to never use the word "bi$ch" again. I guess he has 100 problems now.

   Sometimes relationships don't work out because of timing, but most of the time it's because someone is an as$hole.

   Everyone has one friend that they secretly hate.