BEGO Funny Status Messages

   This lady on the highway is driving like a maniac & she has kids in the car. Lady I'm not following you. I want to watch Ice Age too.

   The only time I ever drink ginger ale is on a plane. WTF is up with that?

   Everybody hates that as$hole that takes 5 minutes to back into a parking spot.

   FACT: No chick has ever been laid in the back of a PT cruiser . Look it up on Wikipedia.

   Wake up!” Me: (~_~) (-_-) (o_-) (-_o) (>_<) (o_O) (o_o)

   There's no need to rush. If something's meant to be, it'll happen in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason.

   Any dude who waits for Valentines Day to treat his woman like a Queen is failing 364 days a year.

   Mark Zuckerberg got married today. His new wife set her relationship status to "CHA-CHING!!"

   Kids are ridiculous these days, when we were young, we took spelling tests, not pregnancy tests.

   Who else backspaces their whole password, even if only one letter is wrong?

   In your bed: it's 6:00, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45. At school: it's 1:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:31.

   She said "Every Kiss begins with K", I said "To bad Ugly begins with U"

   Quick question, Ladies, If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the f$ck are you doing?

   Alcohol doesn't cause Hangovers...Waking up does...

   Fighting fire with fire only gives you ashes.

   The number one rule in life "stay in your own lane "and there won't be any accidents.

   Nothing makes you look younger than an old photo.

   Penguins mate once and stay together for life. All those failed relationships you had? Penguins are kicking your ass.

   Kanye West should open a breakfast restaurant called "Omelette You Finish"

   Absence makes the heart grow fonder...but Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger.