BEGO Funny Status Messages

   I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..

   From now on if you type, LOL you should have to submit a video proving it.

   You don't have to be perfect to be useful....the rusty nail still holds the roof on.

   Longest minutes ever: 1. Waiting on a text 2. Waiting on your food to get out the microwave 3. Commercial while watching a good show.

   Marriage. When dating goes too far.

   It's funny how the people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.

   There's two kind of people in this world: People that use "lol" or "haha"

   If a transvesite goes missing, would you put their face on a carton of Half and Half Milk?

   To the people who upload full movies to YouTube: Get a life...also, thank you.

   Poke me again, and I will stab you.

   If a girl bangs 10 guys in a year, she's a slut. If a guy does it, he's gay, definitely gay.

   Girls who pretend to act stupid because they think it's cute need to be slapped in the face with a brick.

   You're the jelly to my burger, the knife to my soup, the glitter to my sushi, and the ketchup to my icecream. My point is, you're worthless.

   Fact: Nobody cleans a house faster than a man expecting to get laid.

   0 = The amount of care about your Candy Crush progress.

   EX means ..'' thanks for the EXperience , your time has EXpired , now EXit in my life . !

   There should be some sort of device that instantly makes my bed less comfortable when my alarm goes off in the morning.

   Dudes in skinny jeans...there's no need for sex if you're already in her pants...

   If your legs open up faster than Google's homepage. You are not girlfriend material.

   Dear guys wearing skinny jeans, I... Can't.... Breathe.... Sincerely, your damn balls.