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   messageicon Would You Like a Table?” … “No not at all, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground. Carpet for 5 please.”
←Rate | 09-16-2011 09:23 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two of the greatest mysteries of the universe: 1) Why are we here? 2) How come Chinese restaurants don't serve breakfast?
←Rate | 09-29-2011 09:58 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever run into Captian Crunch, I'm gonna punch him in the roof of his mouth.
←Rate | 01-16-2012 18:00 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if I get the job at Walmart,,, do I pull my own teeth out,, or does it happen during orientation ?
←Rate | 10-18-2012 19:29 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many times do I have to say "excuse me" before "get the f*ck out of my way" becomes acceptable?
←Rate | 05-30-2013 17:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Look, here's the deal: If you're into immature, sexually compulsive men who drink too much and need to be the center of attention at all times, you are going to find me very attractive.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 22:30 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, I knew it was time to go.
←Rate | 05-02-2010 20:05 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life
←Rate | 11-16-2009 13:30 by john Comments (0)  


   messageicon My career plans were much more exciting when I was five.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 18:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once, I'd like to see a judge take the verdict slip from the jury, look at it, and then turn and say, "ARE YOU SHlT'N ME?!"
←Rate | 05-17-2012 17:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The MTV Movie Awards are a great reminder of why kids should never be allowed to vote.
←Rate | 06-04-2012 14:33 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hold your tounge and say " I won a math debate"
←Rate | 03-14-2011 23:53 by @jfraze707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems.. you have nice boobs
←Rate | 03-26-2011 14:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love means sharing your thoughts, your fears, your dreams, your hopes and your french fries.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 09:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Loving someone who doesn't love you back is like hugging a cactus. The tighter you hold on, the more it hurts.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 23:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon There'd be less accidents if there was a texting lane.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 09:23 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
←Rate | 04-28-2011 20:01 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tomorrow you'll be able to stop hating people for their political views and go back to hating them for their personality!
←Rate | 11-06-2012 13:52 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.
←Rate | 08-11-2012 23:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon We can put laser-equipped robots on Mars, but wrinkled dollar bills still don't work in vending machines?
←Rate | 08-30-2012 10:25 Comments (0)  



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