BEGO Funny Status Messages

   My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, I cry.

   I hate it when teachers say "From all this talking, I assume you're done." From all this complaining, I assume you're single.

   "You don't marry the person you can live with...You Marry the person You cant live without!"

   One loyal Girlfriend is worth more than one hundred hoes..

   it's not that I'm bad at remembering names, I'm just awesome at forgetting some of them.

   If you think what I just said was offensive, you don't want to hear the things that I stopped myself from saying.

   "Drunk Posting" is worse than "Drunk Texting", because instead of one person thinking you're an idiot, EVERYONE does!

   We all have that friend that acts innocent, but is very naughty

   The Internet is a lot like ancient Egypt, people writing on walls and worshipping cats

   It's the little things in life that count. Like my salary.

   You'll never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks. Rather keep biscuits in your pocket, feed the dogs & move ahead.

   Just found out it was raining by looking outside. WTF, Facebook? You're supposed to tell me these things first!

   Mother: Clean your room, family is coming over. Me: Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize the gathering would be held in my bedroom.

   Thank God It's Monday" ~ Your Liver

   Word of Advice: No matter what city you live in, no matter where you travel, there will always be douche bags there.

   Time I spend listening to music - 54 seconds. Time I spend untangling headphones - 17 minutes

   Don't feel to high & mighty about yourself sweetheart, cause at the end of the day, your still like a penny ` two faced & worthless.

   I still let my phone ring a few times before answering when a person I'm interested in calls, so I seem busy.

   One of the hardest things in life is trying to plug in your charger in the dark

   Drunk Logic: "she's only ugly in the face."