BEGO Funny Status Messages

   When the zombie apocalypse happens, gamers will survive. It will be up to the dorks to reproduce... they will finally get laid!

   Did we give a Nobel Prize to the guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon?

   The biggest lie I tell myself: I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it.

   I was the kid that would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose.

   it considered drinking alone if you're on Facebook?

   hey... I just met you, and this is crazy, but please shut the f$ck up.

   Sometimes The Best Things In Life Are Worth Waiting For.. So Wait For Me I Will Be Right Back...

   When I text you a massive paragraph and you reply 40 minutes later with 'K' Fu$k you

   You know you had a good night when you wake up with one less friend and one new useless Ebay purchase.

   Carry yourself like a queen and you will attract a king! Carry yourself like a hoe, and see how far you will go.

   Seeing a loser from your high school w/ a good job is like graffiti on a highway bridge... how the Hell did that get there?

   I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without pointing it at myself and saying "there´s one."

   Growing up I always dreamed of being slimed on Nickelodeon.

   Spent 45 mins having a stare off with this arrogant prick two tables down at Lunch. Then he got up and grabbed his blind person cane. S$it.

   During sex you burn as much calories as running for 5 miles. Who the f$ck runs 5 miles in 30 seconds?

   You can't see your next if you're too busy looking at your Ex.

   We all have that one person we would take back in a second, no matter how much they hurt us in the past.

   If your not over your EX then don't move on Cause you playing with someone else feelings!

   Best friends have Conversations impossible to understand by other people…

   I'm not saying she's a slut... but she's been licked more times than Wonka's Everlasting Gobstopper.