BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Wal-Mart needs to change their slogan to "what has been seen can never be unseen."

   With the required pants and how flexible my girlfriend has become, Yoga is a win for both of us.

   Sea levels aren't rising due to global warming. They are rising due to the increase in obesity. The continents are actually sinking…

   Count your life by smiles, not tears. Count your age by friends, not years.

   The best way to make people remember you? Borrow money from them

   Teenagers are people who act like babies if they're not treated like adults.

   Before you judge the younger generation remember who raised them.

   A father's goodness is higher than the mountain, a mother's goodness deeper than the sea.

   How come Mario can smash bricks with his head, but when he touches a turtle he dies

   Remember: Being awake during a Saturday Morning sunrise is a sign of a good Friday Night.

   I think it has become obvious that medicine companies have no idea what fruit tastes like.

   NEWS FLASH: "Before" is spelled B-E-F-O-R-E, not B4...this is English, not Bingo.

   Can't call it a real relationship if you feel single.

   If you're playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night & you put your ear up to your monitor, it sounds exactly like having no friends.

   Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn't given freely by another person, it isn't worth having

   Dear Inventor of the Keyboard, Why did you make the "t" and the "g" so close together? I keep signing my letters "With Retards"

   Lebron: I'm proposing to my girl. Kobe: with what?

   Every Saturday morning I wake up in fear... the fear of looking through my phone.

   I use Google to check if I have internet connection more than I use Google to Google.

   Ladies, Admit it. Sometimes you look down at your own boobs and think "Wow, this is Awesome!"