Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Funny Status Messages
|
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages
View All Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Trump Filter:
ON
|
OFF
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
625
626
627
628
629
630
631
632
Next»
Most Recent
Page: 629 of 5593
Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*
27
5
←Rate |
10-04-2015 01:20
Comments (
0
)
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on.
27
5
←Rate |
11-18-2013 12:50 by
Baddie
Comments (
0
)
I know the voices aren't real but they have some great ideas.
27
5
←Rate |
11-19-2013 18:52 by
JMc
Comments (
0
)
Protip: If your turkey tastes like bird flavored jello, it is undercooked.
27
5
←Rate |
11-28-2013 02:15 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
PRO TIP: If you see a woman crying, never ask if its because of her hair.
27
5
←Rate |
03-20-2015 15:10
Comments (
0
)
What if your soulmate is over there on Twitter while you're here on Facebook?
27
5
←Rate |
04-23-2015 15:00
Comments (
0
)
It's weird to think that these Forever Stamps will outlive me.
27
5
←Rate |
04-26-2015 08:06 by
huck
Comments (
0
)
Upon learning how old I am, a 5 year old named "Braxten" told me I was "really old," so I whispered in his ear, "at least I have a real name"
27
5
←Rate |
04-29-2015 12:22 by
andrew jackson
Comments (
0
)
Karma: the joy of watching someone get what they deserve. Professionalism: the ability to sit back, enjoy the show and keep your mouth shut.
27
5
←Rate |
04-29-2015 20:06 by
Coleman
Comments (
0
)
If anybody steals my identity, at least I'll know who to look for.
27
5
←Rate |
04-13-2010 15:41 by
lemonpillow
Comments (
0
)
I like you... People say I've got no taste, but I like you...
27
5
←Rate |
04-27-2010 02:28 by
Joser
Comments (
0
)
When in roam, watch out for those hidden charges...
27
5
←Rate |
05-20-2010 13:14 by
Joser
| Tags: Filtered
Comments (
0
)
It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts...
27
5
←Rate |
05-20-2010 13:15 by
Joser
Comments (
0
)
The best things in life are free.... or have no interest or payments for one full year.
27
5
←Rate |
05-21-2010 17:49 by
Joser
Comments (
0
)
Good moms let you lick the beaters...great moms turn the mixer off first!
27
5
←Rate |
05-25-2010 23:01 by
Jeff
Comments (
0
)
I have the same body I've always had. Adjusted for inflation, of course...
27
5
←Rate |
05-27-2010 13:40 by
Joser
Comments (
0
)
I've never tipped a cow. Then again, one has never served me food.
27
5
←Rate |
05-28-2010 11:47 by
Joser
Comments (
0
)
Starting a sentence with “If you ask me” almost always indicates that no one asked you.
27
5
←Rate |
06-11-2010 15:57 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
27
5
←Rate |
06-11-2010 18:10 by
Joser
Comments (
0
)
Am I the only 1 who cheers 4 the grape soda in the Kool-Aid commercials?
27
5
←Rate |
06-14-2010 20:47
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
625
626
627
628
629
630
631
632
Next»
Most Recent
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com