BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Showing your friend a funny video on YouTube and constantly checking their face to make sure they're enjoying it…

   Hollister should offer complimentary gas masks and ear plugs when you walk in the store.

   I love reading Facebook drama, people go so hard behind that keyboard!

   It's going to be weird still checking Facebook when I'm 70.

   I can memorize twenty song lyrics before I can memorize one answer to a question on a test -_-

   Fact: zoning out is your brain's way of saying “You look bored. Let me take you to a better place.”

   Beers should come with a "May reverse bros before hoes" warning.

   Life is way too short to have matching socks.

   Nothing’s forever. Forever’s a lie. All we have is what’s between hello and goodbye.

   Hey UNITED, my ex is flying from Atlanta to San Antonio, flight 2145 row 12, seat D. Do your thing

   Ahh, Subway. It's the only place on Earth where you can force a woman to make you a sandwich and she can't tell you to f$ck off.

   Best Advice: Say NO to Long-distance relationships...absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it makes the penis wander.

   Black Parents: "When we get in this Restaurant you 8, OKAY?" Son: But mama I'm 12 . Mom: *SMACK* "Listen Here, Yo a$s is 8 you hear me?!"

   Girls who are obsessed with celebrities need to get a life

   There's always a truth behind "JUST KIDDING", a little emotion behind "I DON'T CARE", a little pain behind "IT'S OKAY", a little "I NEED U" behind "LEAVE ME ALONE

   Why yes Officer...I did see the speed limit sign...I just didn't see your car...

   Aren't we all supposed to die next month or is that cancelled?

   There's always a little truth behind every "just kidding", a little knowledge behind every "I don't know", a little emotion behind every "I don't care", and a little pain behind every "It's okay"!

   Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is like calling me a doctor, because I own Band-aids.

   Straight marriage, gay marriage, whatever. Just stop showing me pictures of your kids and we're cool.