BEGO Funny Status Messages

   $2.75 Trojans or $19.99 Huggies? You make the decision.

   God made us plain and simple, but we have made ourselves complicated and difficult.

   One loyal Girlfriend is worth more than one hundred hoes..

   Dear girls who take a pic in slutty clothing & glasses & label the caption "nerddd lol" You're not a nerd, you're a w$ore who found glasses

   People who make me do a slight jog because they hold the door open for me when I'm 15 feet away are the first to die when I become God.

   HIGH SCHOOL made everyone either cool , uncool , bisexual , real , fake , pregnant , dropouts , alcoholics , pot heads or somewhere in jail.

   I wonder what the blood alcohol level is of all these mosquitos that keep biting me?

   Baby, are you Jealous? "No..." "Babe, you Jealous?" "NO!" "Baby, can I get a kiss?" "GO AND GET A KISS FROM THE H$E THAT LIKED YOUR STATUS!"

   It's hard to trust someone who starts each sentence with "to be honest".

   Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strength.

   Smart phones, smart cars, smart everything... Where are all the smart people?

   My favorite condiment is sarcasm, I put it on everything.

   Remember when you blow back up the Capri Sun pouches and try to give them to your friend hoping that they will think it's full?

   Best thing = Waking up, looking in your refrigerator and seeing a pizza box.

   Told my son to break up with his cross-eyed girlfriend, I think she was seeing someone else.

   Immature: A word used by boring people to describe fun people.

   I don't need to watch TNT for drama, I have Facebook.

   Ladies, Put your boobs back in your shirt, smile instead of doing that duck face and put your middle finger down. Have some self-respect.

   Its not you I'm rejecting Its my heart I'm protecting

   Did you know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky? If it was invented anywhere else, it woulda been called a "teethbrush."