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JOser Funny Status Messages
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Page: 6 of 41
After all these years, I'm surprised nobody at CSI has found the light switch in their office.
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07-08-2010 18:56 by
Joser
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How is lindsay lohan ever gonna find a good woman when she is jail? wait....... this might just work out.
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07-08-2010 18:56 by
Joser
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Why do people reply to me in other languages? I don't know wtf you're saying. I only speak three languages: English, Parseltounge
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07-08-2010 18:52 by
Joser
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So excited: my DVD collection of "Hoarders" is almost complete! And on VHS! Also on Blu-ray and 8mm film. And LaserDisc. Where is my cat?
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07-08-2010 17:39 by
Joser
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BREAKING NEWS: LeBron James chooses DirecTV over Comcast and Dish Network.
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07-08-2010 17:08 by
Joser
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My favorite meetings are the ones about the important deadline for work I could be done with if I wasn't in a meeting.
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07-08-2010 17:08 by
Joser
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There's an update available for my Vuvuzela app on my phone. I bet now, rather than making a noise, it just says "You"re a douchebag!"
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07-08-2010 17:05 by
Joser
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Why do people reply to me in other languages? I don't know wtf you're saying. I only speak three languages: English, Parseltounge
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07-08-2010 17:05 by
Joser
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Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, b*tches"
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07-07-2010 22:14 by
Joser
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The 5-second rule is real! Earlier I ate a chip that was on the floor for 6.7 seconds, and here I am at the ER.
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07-07-2010 21:50 by
Joser
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It's never too late to start secretly playing air guitar.
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07-07-2010 21:35 by
Joser
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I've missed you guys like a retard misses the point.
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07-07-2010 18:42 by
Joser
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I'm never getting married. After learning another Bachelorette couple has split, I simply don't know what love is anymore.
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07-07-2010 18:42 by
Joser
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Lingerie is just expensive wrapping paper.
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07-07-2010 18:41 by
Joser
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"You look like you work out", said no one, to me.
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07-07-2010 17:53 by
Joser
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headed out for a quiet beer. Followed by ten noisy ones...
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07-07-2010 17:52 by
Joser
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it's impossible to fool-proof anything because fools are so ingenious.
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07-07-2010 17:52 by
Joser
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there are more important things in life than money. The trouble is, they all cost money.
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07-07-2010 17:51 by
Joser
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a bartender is just an under-qualified pharmacist.
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07-07-2010 17:50 by
Joser
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A procrastinator's work is never done.
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07-07-2010 17:44 by
Joser
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