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Snotty Funny Status Messages
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Page: 6 of 22
Hey Sun-chips way to go,, making a Bio-degradable bag that's so friggin loud my neighbors can hear my junk food addiction,,
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03-30-2012 13:05 by
snotty
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Have we found all of the great singers in America yet?,, I'm worried we might not have found them all....Geesh
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03-30-2012 13:09 by
snotty
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I just hit a guy in a Smart Car with my bicycle.......................he didn't make it
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03-30-2012 20:17 by
snotty
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Anyone checked lately to see if there are still other web sites?
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03-30-2012 21:20 by
snotty
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If I die in my sleep, my programmable coffee-maker is still going to make a full pot in the morning.... Someone will appreciate that.
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03-30-2012 21:24 by
snotty
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Hey,, adorable couples who constantly profess your love for each other via my news feed,,, learn how to text.
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03-31-2012 06:19 by
snotty
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There is a person out there for everyone.... Your person just happens to be five cats
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03-31-2012 06:23 by
snotty
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Ladies,, if you've ever accidentally called a fax machine,,,, you know exactly what listening to your stories sounds like to men.
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03-31-2012 08:29 by
snotty
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If this burglar can avoid tripping & bashing his skull open while my cats circle his feet,,, I'll help him load my belongings into his car.
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03-31-2012 12:48 by
snotty
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Had a mishap while making coffee just now that is best explained through interpretive dance...
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03-31-2012 14:52 by
snotty
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Karl Marx was wrong,, Religion is not the opiate of the masses... Facebook is.. Also Angry Birds...and Draw Something
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03-31-2012 15:16 by
snotty
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TIP: A quick way to get your kids out of bed is to go in their room and shout, "What the Heck?!! There are deer in our backyard!! "
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03-31-2012 15:32 by
snotty
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I can't quote it verbatim,, but the mimes have a saying that goes something like this:
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03-31-2012 21:31 by
snotty
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You're supposed to wash arugula before throwing it away,, right?
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03-31-2012 21:32 by
snotty
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I'm pretty sure Subway sandwiches increase in value after the sandwich artist dies.
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03-31-2012 21:34 by
snotty
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I never win at Scrable
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03-31-2012 21:37 by
snotty
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Me??? Oh, just replanting these carrots and onions... We're catch-and-release vegetarians.
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03-31-2012 21:47 by
snotty
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I'm joking about 90% of the time & the other 10% is me being condescending.. Do I need to explain the difference to you?
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04-01-2012 07:17 by
snotty
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I bet all the girls from other planets think the Miss Universe contest is rigged.
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04-01-2012 07:21 by
snotty
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First rule of Alzheimer's club:
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04-01-2012 17:33 by
snotty
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