Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I think it's funny that whoever deleted me from Facebook was so important that I dont know who it is...
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man's idea of helping with the housework is lifting his legs so you can vacuum...
←Rate | 01-12-2011 07:44 by Mandy Comments (0)  


   messageicon this status has been made from 90% recycled status posts. Just doing my part to keep Facebook Clean and clutter Free.
←Rate | 01-20-2011 21:05 by jason711 Comments (2)  


   messageicon The only reason why people hold onto memories is because memories are the only things that don't change when everyone else does.
←Rate | 03-29-2011 19:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The ultimate feeling of opening a jar that everyone else struggled with......Ohhh Yeeaaaa!!
←Rate | 04-01-2011 07:50 by AC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just read that birth control pills can prevent acne. Coincidentally when I was a teenager, acne was my form of birth control.
←Rate | 04-02-2011 11:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Username or Password Incorrect” You couldn't just tell me which one?
←Rate | 04-08-2011 22:00 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Mayans are now on the clock
←Rate | 05-21-2011 22:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember, Make-up can fix blemishes, but it can't fix you being a b!tch.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 12:26 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've never seen that tombstone that read: "Died from not forwarding that text to ten friends."
←Rate | 06-20-2011 19:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This SunnyD tastes like I can't afford orange juice.
←Rate | 07-04-2011 10:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really dont get the need for these giant 24 hour combination superstores. I have never in the middle of the night decided I just had to have a chainsaw, bicycle helmet and whipped cream.... wait... I take that back....
←Rate | 07-12-2011 23:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid, I used to think that the moon followed my car
←Rate | 07-16-2011 23:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll usually hug people when it's obvious they only want to shake hands
←Rate | 08-24-2011 16:13 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's with people who come on Facebook to announce that they are in a bad mood and they want to be left alone, so no one should text or call them? No one was ever going text/call your cranky a$$ anyways.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 13:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yawning is your body's way of saying 20% of battery remaining.
←Rate | 09-08-2011 10:43 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it doesn't kill me the first time... your damn right I'm gunna do it again!!
←Rate | 09-08-2011 14:17 by JB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls cheat if there's something wrong with the relationship; guys cheat if there's an opportunity to get away with it.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 09:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Brunette: what r you doing? Blonde: trying 2 commit suicide. Brunette: the rope goes around your neck, not your waist. Blonde: Tried that, but I couldn't breathe.
←Rate | 04-30-2011 15:07 by cookiemonsta85 Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to be wearing an armor plated vest just in case Cupid gets any ideas.
←Rate | 02-03-2011 09:10 Comments (0)  



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