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BEGO Funny Status Messages
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Page: 57 of 66
Did anyone ever consider Dr. Suess on some serious drugs when he wrote those books? A 6ft. Tall cat with a 2ft. Tall hat. I mean c'mon!
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03-26-2012 21:22 by
BEGO
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It is amazing how many problems you can solve by ignoring them.
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03-26-2012 21:23 by
BEGO
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You get in the biggest fights with the people you care about the most, because they are the relationships you're willing to fight for.
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03-26-2012 21:24 by
BEGO
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Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear... "Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep."
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03-26-2012 21:25 by
BEGO
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I called Siri a bitch for messing up my request and my phone automatically started dialing my ex.
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03-27-2012 01:52 by
BEGO
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Everything magically appears when your mom looks for it.
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03-27-2012 01:52 by
BEGO
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16 and Pregnant? How come I didn't get my own show when I was 16? "16 and smart enough to use a rubber."
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03-27-2012 19:38 by
BEGO
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Deja Vu: When God thinks something is so funny he has to rewind it to show it to his friends.
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03-27-2012 21:55 by
BEGO
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I come up with the best ideas when sitting on the toilet then forget them after the flush.
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03-27-2012 21:55 by
BEGO
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When I was a kid, I used to close the fridge door slowly just to see when the light turned off.
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03-27-2012 21:56 by
BEGO
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Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
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03-27-2012 21:57 by
BEGO
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I do everything faster when I have to pee.
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03-27-2012 21:58 by
BEGO
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Me: So, you like bad boys? Girl: Oh Yeah! Me: Well, I'm not to impress you or anything but at Walmart I enter through the exit door.
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03-29-2012 20:33 by
BEGO
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Real friends don't get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.
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03-29-2012 20:36 by
BEGO
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The McRib is like an exgirlfriend visiting, you know you probably shouldn't do it, but hey, it's back for a limited time.
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03-29-2012 20:38 by
BEGO
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I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.
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03-29-2012 21:58 by
BEGO
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When I sing with my headphones in I think, "Why don't I have a record deal?!"...Then I take them out and I know why.
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03-29-2012 21:59 by
BEGO
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It's only a matter of time until The Homeless start accepting Credit Cards.
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03-29-2012 22:00 by
BEGO
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A snail that meows, a squirrel in an astronaut suit, a crab with a whale as a daughter, The creators of SPONGEBOB were obviously high.
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03-30-2012 21:41 by
BEGO
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Congratulations! You've won a lifetime supply of air! Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
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03-30-2012 21:42 by
BEGO
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