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   messageicon They have auto-steer and auto-park on new cars, but I would like to see auto-drivemydrunkass homefromthebar.
←Rate | 05-11-2012 10:25 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon HEY,,, I remember when they had Child Protective Services when I was a kid... And her name was Grandma... Love you Gram !
←Rate | 05-24-2012 12:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should create an app that makes your cellphone go "ahhhhhh" when you plug it in.
←Rate | 12-29-2011 09:56 by BENDER Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone is watching you brush your teeth, you brush for longer than you normally do alone
←Rate | 12-30-2011 12:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love that sound you make when you shut the hell up.
←Rate | 11-09-2011 01:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The uneasy moment when you are having a conversation in your head & you realize you are making faces that go along with the silent conversation.
←Rate | 11-12-2011 01:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have a problem with me, text me. If you don't have my number than that means you don't know me well enough to have a problem with me.
←Rate | 11-13-2011 22:39 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only appropriate time to yell out "I HAVE DIARRHEA!", is when you're playing scrabble. Because it's worth a whole load of points.
←Rate | 01-11-2011 17:33 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its funny how sitting "boy girl boy girl" use to be a punishment...
←Rate | 04-13-2010 14:47 by Samir Momin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Teaching my Son Life-Lessons.... Don't download porn.... Stream it....
←Rate | 06-15-2009 17:03 by Peebs | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.
←Rate | 10-22-2010 11:38 by rll Comments (0)  


   messageicon I stopped listening somewhere around the third grade.
←Rate | 11-08-2010 22:23 by Aaron Comments (1)  


   messageicon So today I think I'm going to entertain my kids with a good game of duct, duct, tape.
←Rate | 09-16-2010 09:35 by kmk4ever Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do birds get mad when other birds sh*t in the bird bath? "Dude what the hell?! That is NOT okay! There's a car RIGHT THERE!"
←Rate | 09-18-2010 20:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're going to call your wifi network "Wireless", at least have the courtesy to make the password "password"
←Rate | 09-21-2010 15:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks its time to clean out the handbag, I just put it on the passenger seat of my car and the seat belt light came on!
←Rate | 10-11-2010 00:04 by Khadija Comments (1)  


   messageicon wishes he could delete people in real life as fast as he can his facebook friends.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 17:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone says, "Facebook is stupid." what they really mean is "I don't know how to use a computer."
←Rate | 06-28-2010 17:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Uh oh...just saw the little devil from my left shoulder drop kick the little angel off my right shoulder a minute ago...this can't be good.
←Rate | 08-14-2010 10:03 by Jeff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently, I would rather break my teeth or put a hole in my new shirt than locate a pair of scissors to cut the tag off.
←Rate | 08-20-2010 06:05 Comments (0)  



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