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I just got off the phone with a charity that wanted my old clothes for folks starving in Africa....Well I think it is a scam!!! Anyone that can wear my clothes sure ain't starving!!!! 
I went to a museum and it had all the heads from the statues in other museums .
Too bad after 146 yrs Ringling Brothers Circus is closing. Well, there is always Facebook. . .
I got home tonight and my girlfriend had on this little slinky outfit. which only really worked when she went down stairs .
when I was 5 years old my teacher asked if I wanted to take the class guinea pig home ;.. 7 months later I arrived in the African republic of Guinea .
Did Lindsay Lohan Convert to Islam? If so she could assemble her suicide vest from all of those horrible movies she has made over her career.. Bombs.. get it..
I've just clicked on my phone's front camera by mistake, Yoh never been this terrified in my life!!!
I'm so glad I don't have to hunt for my own food. I don't even know where sandwiches live
I have a very short attention span. Sometimes I bacon is delicious
The first rule of the OCD Club is to have a second rule so there is an even number of rules.
I had so much Chinese food for breakfast I can barely wok
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
I'm the proud grandfather of a new baby boy. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
Many people are afraid of heights. Not me, though. I'm afraid of widths.
Cops think they are so cool, driving around in their flashy cars
The only thing to believe in is to not believe in anything.
every guy has got that one pair of socks with a hole and that big toe sticking out.
Your Facebook posts are like your children. Some go on to become successful and others make you look stupid.
Let's make humility great again.
The one good thing Joe Biden will experience on Inauguration Day is that he'll no longer be 2nd banana.
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