Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   A lion attacks a bull then eats him in just a few minutes. When he is done he lets out a loud roar. while he is roaring a hunter comes and shoots the lion killing him instatly. The moral of the story? When you are full of bull, keep your mouth shut!!

   My 2017 diet is going well. After 10 days of starving myself I've only gained 3 pounds...

   Just got back from 2037 and there still debating on the nominee Jeff Sessions.

   Who is the genius that decided Little League uniforms be white? My guess is Tide laundry detergent.

   Has anyone else considered the romantic possibilities of nachos and naps?

   only close minded individuals talk about politic on social media!

   It is in the best interest of the United Sates to have better relations with Russia because Russian women are HOT!!!!

   Yup .... Sex with a 50 year old woman is pretty much the same as with a 20 year old with the exception that is has little chance of magically transforming into a child support payment.

   So she married one of the seven dwarfs But divorced him shortly after when she realised he wasn't actually happy.

   I suspect that my cat has plans to kill me, but has just never been awake long enough to carry them out.

   Bae, I got you bae. -Sonny & Cher 2014

   I don't always floss, but when I do it's in the dentist's office when the hygienist does it..

   Let me get this straight... People who believed President Obama was born in Kenya and that there would be FEMA camps, and that Hillary ran a child sex ring from a pizza joint.... are SKEPTICAL of US intelligence.

   I had to take the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector last night.The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.

   I just found out they sell universal remotes at Wal-mart. Wow! For just $9.95 I can control the whole universe!

   The point in making a point is to actually make a point,

   Alls I'm sayin is the Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans. . .

   I wonder if China was clever enough to make the Mongolians pay for their wall?

   "China is beating us badly in every aspect. Even buidling the wall."

   No more wet foot, dry foot for the Cubans #obamasfarewell