Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already

   if you burn the turkey, just tell the family they're eating blackbird

   When Thanksgiving is over, you have my permission to listen to Christmas music.

   it normal to delete Facebook friends on their birthdays

   Watching the Macy's Thanskgiving Day Parade. It's not a parade, it's a 3 hour ad for Broadway plays. Where's the Bullwinkle float!???

   Theres a really good chance I'm gonna touch some breast today.

   Black Friday used to only be Robinson Crusoe's pal!

   If life gives you melons... get a good sports bra.

   If you do good deeds and post them on facebook, they're not good deeds anymore, they're self promotion .

   You know your girlfriend is getting fat when she fits in your wifes clothes !

   All this spending on Black Friday! Y'all better pay that electric bill first, or next Friday will be Black Friday too

   My wife and girlfriend met, they don't need me anymore ;)

   It's officially the holiday season, bah hum bug. . .

   If someone steals your identity, you should have every right to kill them. What are they gonna do, arrest you for suicide?

   Leaving the house with 50% battery on your phone is almost as bad as leaving without your wallet.

   How come documentary makers can find drug makers and hitmen to interview but the police can’t find them?

   later is the best time to do anything

   Spinning in circles to get dizzy as a child was my first attempt at getting high.

   Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today Should have cooked it on aloha temperature

   silly true fact :'a woman is more responsive to romance when her stomach is full.'