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When I was young at bedtimes my mum always told me a story with a happy ending. One of the benefits of having a mum from Thailand I suppose.
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10-26-2016 11:48 by
thejoke.cafe
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Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet? Because she didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills.
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10-26-2016 11:48 by
thejoke.cafe
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A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.
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10-26-2016 11:49 by
thejoke.cafe
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If you want to work for a company that makes moisturiser, the best thing to do is to apply daily.
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10-26-2016 11:51 by
thejoke.cafe
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@ a funeral . ME: What's the WiFi password PRIEST: Respect the dead ME: Is that all small letters?
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10-26-2016 16:15
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I'm sorry I said the Nazis were also a party when you invited me to celebrate your birthday.
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10-27-2016 01:54
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Why is my kid in the living room doing cartwheels when I put her to bed an hour ago?
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10-27-2016 05:27
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Sometimes you just have to throw away a few sheets of perfectly good printer paper so it can hide all the Halloween fun-size candy wrappers in your trash can.
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10-27-2016 05:28
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Instead of paying for a haunted house this year I'm just making the kids clean out the refrigerator.
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10-27-2016 05:29
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You can just root for them. You don't have to try and explain how you're a legit Cubs fan because your great uncle went to Wrigley once.
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10-27-2016 05:30
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October 27th, almost time for me to tell my kids' about the weird week long chocolate allergy they are about to get.
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10-27-2016 05:31
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Nice try Halloween, I eat candy in the dark and pretend not to be home every night.
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10-27-2016 05:31
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After five minutes of talking to you I can already tell that all these books on your shelves are just for decoration.
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10-27-2016 05:32
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Love this time of year when I can dig graves in my front yard and people think it's just a cute Halloween display.
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10-27-2016 05:33
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Hipster haunted house but it's just a Trader Joe's filled with Walmart brand products.
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10-27-2016 05:34
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Our family rule is that if the kid's costume costs more than $50, they have to wear it to school at least four times after Halloween.
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10-27-2016 05:35
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I saw the pictures you posted of your baby at the pumpkin patch and I felt nothing.
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10-27-2016 05:36
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If you're curious about how cool I was in high school just know that I can do several tricks with a yo-yo.
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10-27-2016 05:38
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My household now communicates exclusively through slammed doors and the clattering of cutlery thrown angrily into drawers.
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10-27-2016 05:40
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Just when I thought 2016 couldn't get any worse, I realize my Kohl's cash has expired.
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10-27-2016 05:40
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