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Teacher: Imagine you're in a world with dinosaurs and a dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do? Boy: Easy, stop imagining. 
does anybody still reminise the days of Celebrity deathmatch?!
I'll make you swallow your pride!!
About that pumpkin.. line the cut edges with cooking oil to keep that jack-o'-lantern fresh for a longer time.
the oldest I've ever been so far.
going downstairs to see what that noise was... powers out but BRB.
Ready for my new work out video ABS of BEER!
thinks Charlie Sheen should change the name of his TV show to "2 1/2 Grams & A Hooker"
Why is the list of vision providers in 4.5 font? I know I need glasses; that's why I am looking for a provider. You don't have to rub it in.
Apparently I drank enough purple juice to make me believe I could crip walk across the dance floor last night.
It was pretty irresponsible to put a little girl in charge of a bunch of sheep. They should have started Little Bo Peep with something easier like a hamster.
You're a first time vegan and it's nice to meat ya
Liquor Treat!!!
if you're dressing up like Snooki tonight, allow me to help by rubbing Doritos all over you first ;)
could easily become the "Crazy Cat Lady" for Halloween. I could wear my everyday clothes and pin all the neighborhood strays to them......
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish
Ran around today shouting "I'm Free! I'm Free!" Some little kid looked up at me in disgust and said, "So... I'm four."
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror, she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
WHO's GUILTY? Husband and Wife are sleeping. Wife dreaming at night suddenly shouts "Quick my husband is back". Husband gets up & jumps out of the window!
There are going to be so many Snookis this year for Halloween. I think I will dress up as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face.
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