Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   "But apart from that , How did you enjoy the play Mrs. Lincoln"

   Wow, that's a nice looking pair of crocs!" - Said by no one...

   Protests to stop police from killing their race but then you kill each other for a pair of Jordans....smh

   Im in the restroom using the urinals and someone walked next to me to catch a Pokemon!

   some dude playing Pokémon go came inside my house to catch a Pokémon and stole my TV

   It's a sad day when a 4 year old girl is more calm and collected than a police officer.

   It's so damn hot I think I'll go put the toilet seat up on purpose so I can get a cold Icy stare from my girlfriend

   ....... Hey Barack and Hillary .... Denial ain't just a river in Egypt!!!!

   ... it's so damn HOT out there I'm not even going out to look for Pokemon.

   QUESTION: "What to you have when you finally find ALL of the Pokemon?" ... ANSWER: "Nothing .... you have nothing."

   This Pokemon Go app is getting way too serious ..... My doctor said he found a Pokemon in my Chest X-Ray

   Just farted so badly Adam Sandler is pitching to buy the rights to make a movie about it.

   "1-800-Yankees." - My reply when someone asks me to give them a phone number

   Sarah Palin not asked to speak at the Republican National Convention after discovering she doesn't have a passport to leave Alaska.

   Never watched a documentary about paint drying though I have watched a 4 year old eat 7 peas.

   Did you know, the inventor of the headphones worked next to a guy who happily whistled all of the time.

   5 Word Guilt Trip: Just go. I'll be fine.

   Pro Tip: Avoid conversations by sitting at the bottom of the pool.

   Tim Tebow speaking at the Republican National Convention guarantees the Republicans have no shot at winning the Superbowl next year.

   Minor Daily Wins: I was 5 minutes late for work today, but my boss was 15 minutes late....so I was 10 minutes early to work.