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Hey,,,You knew what you were getting into when you friended me...
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05-04-2012 17:15 by
snotty
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"Local artist" is just fancy talk for "stinky guy nobody likes."
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05-05-2012 05:14 by
flinnie
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Sometimes, I feel like my life should be documented for future generations.
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05-05-2012 22:47 by
BEGO
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When Zuckerberg's wife divorces him… I hope she takes the half of Facebook that has the timeline and security settings.
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05-26-2012 14:26
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Haven't seen David Blaine in a long time. I'd say it's his best trick ever.
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06-06-2012 12:33 by
SuthernFukr
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I think before we vote, we should get the politicians drunk. That way they would speak what's REALLY on their minds.
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06-10-2012 12:43 by
K-Mac
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Why be fake when being real takes no effort at all?
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06-12-2012 17:02 by
Jackoo
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If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.
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06-18-2012 09:53 by
SuthernFukr
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Sometimes I want to ask certain people, "So you looked in the mirror and thought you looked good enough to go outside?"
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06-18-2012 22:22 by
BEGO
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The Karma cafe has no menus. You get served what you deserve.
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06-22-2012 21:34 by
Aaron
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A drunk man's reasoning; "What the hell, she's only ugly in the face"
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06-28-2012 03:54 by
Drunken Master
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Mission Impossible 5: Marriage
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06-29-2012 14:45
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A beautiful woman in the cafeteria just gagged while eating her banana... She's now dead to me.
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07-09-2012 15:08
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There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no coffee. And without coffee, I'll kill you all.
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07-11-2012 15:43
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I have NO idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
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07-13-2012 05:58 by
snotty
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Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.
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10-18-2011 06:55
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I know a million ways to always pick the wrong thing to say! Hey... I'm multi-talented!! I can talk and piss you off at the same time!
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10-18-2011 18:23 by
Dani
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It's not that guys can't find the G-spot; we just like looking for it…a lot.
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11-09-2011 16:03
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Sometimes you can't tell if you're just in a bad mood or everyone around you is being annoying.
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11-09-2011 20:57 by
g0re
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I love my wife, and God bless her for packing my lunch. But when you whip out a fruit roll up on a construction site, you get looks!
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11-10-2011 15:21 by
Goodeolboy
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