Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Funny Status Messages
|
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
View All Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Trump Filter:
ON
|
OFF
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
5156
5157
5158
5159
5160
5161
5162
5163
5576
Next»
Page: 5160 of 5576
I just had a small salad with a side of carrots for lunch and now I know why women are so horrible to each other.
5
2
←Rate |
02-27-2016 20:25 by
Snotty
Comments (
0
)
Looks at growing laundry piles *Deep sigh... Kids , we're nudists now
3
2
←Rate |
02-27-2016 20:27 by
Snotty
Comments (
0
)
4: Mommy, where do babies come from?..... Me: Well, sweetie, when two people tolerate each other very much...
2
3
←Rate |
02-27-2016 20:34 by
Snotty
Comments (
0
)
When someone is near the edge I like to push them over so they can begin their recovery earlier
1
2
←Rate |
02-27-2016 21:50
Comments (
0
)
I typed hahahahahaha,,, and it got autocorrected to hahaha and I was like,, "yeah, you're probably right"
3
2
←Rate |
02-27-2016 22:39 by
Snotty
Comments (
0
)
I don't like who I am at buffets.
7
2
←Rate |
02-27-2016 22:40 by
Snotty
Comments (
0
)
[buying treadmill]... Me: Can I try it out first?... Salesperson: Sure... Me: (pulls out laundry basket and hangs wet clothes on it).. Hmmm, I like it.
13
3
←Rate |
02-27-2016 22:42 by
Snotty
Comments (
0
)
[At job interview] Interviewer: Do you have a police record?... Me: No. But I do have a few of their albums on cassette... *hires me instantly
7
2
←Rate |
02-27-2016 22:45 by
Snotty
Comments (
0
)
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven't pooped it out yet. Really scared now!
9
2
←Rate |
02-28-2016 02:36
Comments (
0
)
Most college girls join a sorority....few earn the title of a US Marine.
3
6
←Rate |
02-28-2016 02:42
Comments (
0
)
....Smiling at someone that hates you because you're an a$$hole like that.
3
2
←Rate |
02-28-2016 02:45
Comments (
0
)
Never trust people who talk to their pets in normal voices.
6
3
←Rate |
02-28-2016 02:46
Comments (
0
)
There no room for BS in my life unless it's Burritos and Salsa.
6
2
←Rate |
02-28-2016 02:47
Comments (
0
)
Jack Daniels gives you the courage to talk to attractive women, disables your genitals.
3
3
←Rate |
02-28-2016 02:48
Comments (
0
)
My personal style is best described as "didn't expect to get out of the car."
4
3
←Rate |
02-28-2016 02:49
Comments (
0
)
I made the mistake of asking Siri what women want....she has been talking non-stop for the last 3 days.
5
2
←Rate |
02-28-2016 02:51
Comments (
0
)
Sorry kids, you're definitely not getting any inheritance. All that money went towards the booze I needed to put up with you.
5
3
←Rate |
02-28-2016 02:53
Comments (
0
)
Loneliness is very dangerous. It's addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don't want to deal with people while working at any gas station.
2
3
←Rate |
02-28-2016 02:57
Comments (
0
)
My signature move is to bottle up my feelings over time and then combust over some small issue and get accused of being a psycho.
4
2
←Rate |
02-28-2016 02:58
Comments (
0
)
Me laughing: I don't drink to get drunk, I drink to.....no wait, I definitely drink to get drunk.
2
3
←Rate |
02-28-2016 03:00
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
5156
5157
5158
5159
5160
5161
5162
5163
5576
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com