Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon California has the highest rate of Depression and Adultery. It's a sad state of affairs.
←Rate | 11-22-2015 09:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The biggest problem I see with Adele's relationship in her new song is that she needs to stop calling and start texting instead.
←Rate | 11-22-2015 13:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't need a safe word, but you will.
←Rate | 11-22-2015 13:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Seen a pregnant woman with 4 kids just letting them run wild in Walmart. She said "Can you believe my baby is 5 days past due?"...I said "Yeah, he was probably warned by your other kids."......And that's when the fight started....
←Rate | 11-22-2015 15:17 Comments (1)  

   messageicon When a woman says, do what you want,under any circumstance do not do what you want
←Rate | 11-22-2015 15:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 'm trying to learn to be a Magician.. But I have a question. Is it pulling a rabbit out of a hat or a hat out of the rabbit ?
←Rate | 11-22-2015 16:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wonder if Caitlyn Jenner dared to go as Bruce Jenner for Halloween.
←Rate | 11-22-2015 17:17 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon LIFE HACK: Just eat your burrito over a tortilla,,, anything that falls out, will simply start building your next burrito
←Rate | 11-22-2015 17:25 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon FYI: Every Scooby Doo episode would literally be 2 minutes long, if the gang went to the mask store 1st & asked a few questions.
←Rate | 11-22-2015 17:26 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Seriously,,, if I were a manager at Burger King, my answer to every complaint would be, “Dude, you’re at Burger King.”
←Rate | 11-22-2015 17:28 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.
←Rate | 11-22-2015 17:29 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon it wrong to ask a woman to share a condom, asking for a friend. . .
←Rate | 11-22-2015 19:58 by JAB Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why are we supposed to give special treatment to Black Friday, i'm just gonna come out and say it #ALLFRIDAYSMATTER
←Rate | 11-22-2015 20:19 by @kalleygirl Comments (0)  

   messageicon Was JFK killed by a lone gunman or was there a conspiracy? Compelling new evidence proves beyond doubt that it makes no difference at all. He's still dead.
←Rate | 11-23-2015 07:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I bought a $300 dollar tent so I can camp outside Best Buy for 3 days to save $20 on a TV.
←Rate | 11-23-2015 08:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays
←Rate | 11-23-2015 10:39 Comments (2)  

   messageicon If 'faith' was based on evidence then it would be called 'knowledge'. It isn't because it isn't.
←Rate | 11-23-2015 10:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon These pretzels are making me thirsty. Beer!
←Rate | 11-23-2015 11:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Even if evolution is wrong, and it’s not, magic doesn't win by default. 434 Retweets 190 j'aime
←Rate | 11-23-2015 13:05 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Crazy is like diarrhea. You can only hold it in for so long.
←Rate | 11-23-2015 13:16 Comments (0)  

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