Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon White privilege is how Amy Winehouse was considered a misunderstood soul and Whitney Houston was considered a crackhead.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 23:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon (An news article comment) "I'm going to go online and complain about this" watch the replies
←Rate | 11-12-2015 00:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Be right with you, I'm not quite through disappointing this person yet.
←Rate | 11-12-2015 01:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon There is no such thing as 'American English'. There is English and there are mistakes.
←Rate | 11-12-2015 01:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Cluelessness in dogs is cute but not so much in human beings.
←Rate | 11-12-2015 01:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If Bruce Jenner can win woman of the year, I see no reason why Sarah Jessica Parker can't win the Kentucky Derby.
←Rate | 11-12-2015 01:35 by Psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon On her knees with a nice scalp of hair is how I like seeing your girlfriend while you're away at work.
←Rate | 11-12-2015 07:38 by sheblowsme Comments (0)  

   messageicon Not now kids. I'm managing my online empire.
←Rate | 11-12-2015 14:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The difference between you and me: You call the shots. And I drink them.
←Rate | 11-12-2015 14:13 by Czovczov Comments (0)  

   messageicon UGGS, The winter equivalent of Crocks. You approach me with Uggs, I'll assume you're a mental patient.
←Rate | 11-12-2015 14:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Besides watermelon, there should be airmelon, firemelon, and earthmelon.... The four elemelons.
←Rate | 11-12-2015 15:07 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon After the expiration date on poison, is it more potent or less potent?
←Rate | 11-12-2015 16:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon *email from Domino's .....You haven't ordered pizza in 2 days... Is everything all right?
←Rate | 11-12-2015 16:55 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hmmmm,,, "I've never been on a blind date before," I proclaimed while being jostled around in an unmarked van with a thick cloth hood over my head.
←Rate | 11-12-2015 16:56 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Son: Do I sleep on my stomach or back?... Me: Your back, that way youre ready to fight if the monsters attack... Son: WAIT ??,,What? .... ME: Night son
←Rate | 11-12-2015 17:00 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not interested in anything that requires 5 hours of energy
←Rate | 11-12-2015 17:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke
←Rate | 11-12-2015 17:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Farts are like children. I'm proud of mine and disgusted by yours.
←Rate | 11-12-2015 17:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon *I cycle off mt Rushmore and fall to my death, but my bicycle gets stuck on the end of Lincolns nose and makes a perfect pair of reading glasses*
←Rate | 11-12-2015 17:26 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tonight's Jets/Bills football uniforms resemble my Starbucks cup.
←Rate | 11-12-2015 21:02 by JC Comments (0)  

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