Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon what if I am a high ranking illuminatii and dont even know it
←Rate | 11-10-2015 23:40 by Danny T Comments (0)  

   messageicon I never leave the house because my phone charger cord isn't long enough.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 00:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you have enough cash, you can humiliate and take the dignity of any woman you want.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 07:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love my women like I love my Keurig coffee, disposable after a single use.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 08:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I like my women like I like my online forms, easy to submit.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 08:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon SOB...Get me a drink
←Rate | 11-11-2015 12:14 Comments (1)  

   messageicon What do you mean you're pregnant? We slept on the pull out bed.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 12:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I really should get out of this destructive relationship, and find someone better, but I'd hate to mess up a good thing.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 12:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I do understand women, but I don't know how to explain them to you.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 12:24 by Czovczov Comments (0)  

   messageicon Taking care of your drunk friends inadvertently prepares you to be a father or mother.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 12:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I like my women like.oh never mind its all the same in the dark
←Rate | 11-11-2015 13:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I am a US Veteran. I didn't do it for the thank you's or the free stuff. I did it because I wasn't college material.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 13:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon We don't care about your taste in women and cups of coffee. Thank you.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 15:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Last time there was this much crap over a cup there were two girls involved
←Rate | 11-11-2015 16:26 by Hefner Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm someones reason to drink
←Rate | 11-11-2015 17:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If a woman asks if she looks fat, it’s not enough to say “no.” You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary
←Rate | 11-11-2015 18:28 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon No matter how much lice shampoo I use it doesn't provide the sheen or volume that I get when I wash my lice with regular shampoo.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 18:33 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon It only takes a second to show someone how you feel about them. The police call it "Indecent Exposure" but whatever.....
←Rate | 11-11-2015 19:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love my women like I love my whisky: twenty years old and mixed up with coke.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 21:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wonder if prostitutes from India tells their coustomers "Thank you cum again"?
←Rate | 11-11-2015 22:20 Comments (0)  

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