Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5136 of 5237

   messageicon I get turned on when women use the voice they use to talk to dogs ...
←Rate | 11-06-2015 19:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had the unfortunate task of telling my dog he's adopted today.
←Rate | 11-06-2015 19:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a closet pervert in each and every one of you. . .
←Rate | 11-06-2015 21:28 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon .... "There once was a girl from Nantucket" ..... DAMMIT! .... Apparently I'm a terrible Poet ... cuz I can't think of anything that rhymes with Nantucket.
←Rate | 11-06-2015 23:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may be her Teddy bear, but remember I'm still a bear .
←Rate | 11-06-2015 23:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so ignored here I'm beginning to think all of you are actually cats.
←Rate | 11-07-2015 01:37 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anybody out there is in quarantine right now, can I come over?
←Rate | 11-07-2015 01:38 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You changed your profile picture and I changed my mind.
←Rate | 11-07-2015 01:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At what age do you get to start falling asleep in every chair you sit in?
←Rate | 11-07-2015 02:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If getting ignored in real life is not enough, try twitter.
←Rate | 11-07-2015 02:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I shot off a flare to get rescued from a bad date, and now everyone in this restaurant is mad at me.
←Rate | 11-07-2015 03:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is no sex in my life, therefore, there is no joy. Except for snacks. I find joy in snacks.
←Rate | 11-07-2015 03:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A 'Baby On Board' sign, but for your whiny boyfriend.
←Rate | 11-07-2015 13:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon * changes bedsheets, 14 socks fall out * Hmmm... * apologizes to the dryer *
←Rate | 11-07-2015 13:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I checked with my doctor, and beer is right for me.
←Rate | 11-07-2015 13:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Facebook changed "poke" to "stab" I would use it all the time.
←Rate | 11-07-2015 13:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like sleeping because it's like being dead , without the commitment...
←Rate | 11-08-2015 08:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have an eating disorder. It called not starving to death. . .
←Rate | 11-08-2015 09:20 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last night I turned wine into vomit. Your move, Jesus.
←Rate | 11-08-2015 16:36 Comments (3)  


   messageicon It's not in the way you look or the things that you say that you'll do.....Hold the line, love isn't always on time,
←Rate | 11-08-2015 21:45 Comments (1)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left