Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If you have trouble remembering every mistake you've ever made, just pour your mom 3 glasses of wine.
←Rate | 11-30-2015 11:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon disappointed what had happened on Black Friday! Fully condemned the action
←Rate | 11-30-2015 13:41 by Mark Zuckerberg Comments (0)  


   messageicon Come on people! It's 2015...you should know by now how to NOT use the 'Reply to All' in an email.
←Rate | 11-30-2015 13:51 by BoiseBoy Comments (0)  


   messageicon This coat I’m wearing is a present from my wife; I came home early one night and there it was, hanging over a chair.
←Rate | 11-30-2015 14:37 by Fazzdelirious Comments (0)  


   messageicon For my sister’s 40th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
←Rate | 11-30-2015 14:40 by Fazzdelirious Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
←Rate | 11-30-2015 14:42 by Fazzdelirious Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Is that your dog?".... "No, actually she's adopted... We were unable to conceive a dog naturally ourselves"
←Rate | 11-30-2015 18:46 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon To any American who wants a better life, leave the country, denounce your US citizenship and come back as an illegal immigrant. . .
←Rate | 11-30-2015 19:14 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Mirror, mirror; on the floor.... Who's got the biggest hemorrhoids of them all?"
←Rate | 11-30-2015 19:20 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to Disproportionate Body Parts Club.... If there's any suggestions, I'm all ears.
←Rate | 11-30-2015 20:09 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Hope I can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.
←Rate | 11-30-2015 20:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The proper response to "Good Morning" is "Yeah? Prove it!"
←Rate | 12-01-2015 06:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid I was afraid of the dark. Now when I see my electric bill I'm afraid of the lights.
←Rate | 12-01-2015 11:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anti-psychotics, but for religious fanatics.
←Rate | 12-01-2015 13:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In 2015, if you're dreaming of a white Christmas, you're a racist.
←Rate | 12-01-2015 14:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know your not much of a Christmas shopper anymore, when your still using some of the same wrapping paper you had 3 years ago . 🎁 🎁🎁 🎁
←Rate | 12-01-2015 14:18 Comments (1)  


   messageicon welcome to HIdDen mEssages club. please help yourself To tHE snacks By the dOor and we’ll get starteD shortlY.
←Rate | 12-01-2015 15:43 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon What valuable lesson did you learn from the chubby white B-list comedian on the stool?
←Rate | 12-01-2015 16:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon *gets pulled over... COP: "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"... [I've swapped places with the dog]... ME: "Jake, answer the man"
←Rate | 12-01-2015 19:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My daughter's school was closed for fog??... Hey,, Back in my day, Godzilla could be destroying the city & my principal would be like... "Ummm,, 2-hour delay"
←Rate | 12-01-2015 19:35 by snotty Comments (0)  



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