Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Does anyone know where I can get more Lite Brite pegs?... I'm trying to finish my will.
←Rate | 11-21-2015 18:56 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon FYI,,,, My grandma hides blue cookies in the back of her toilet.
←Rate | 11-21-2015 18:57 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I didn't sign up for the 401K at work. There is no way I can run that far in the shape I'm in.
←Rate | 11-21-2015 19:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What is it that I want out of life? An apology would be a good start.
←Rate | 11-21-2015 19:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your Fortune Cookie for Today: A long-forgotten loved one will soon come back into your life. Buy the negatives at any price.
←Rate | 11-21-2015 19:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did you know the Boeing 767 is made up of 3.1 million parts from 800 manufacturers who were the lowest bidder. Anyways...have safe flights over the Thanksgiving holiday 
←Rate | 11-22-2015 07:44 by Mike Youngman Comments (0)  

   messageicon California has the highest rate of Depression and Adultery. It's a sad state of affairs.
←Rate | 11-22-2015 09:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The biggest problem I see with Adele's relationship in her new song is that she needs to stop calling and start texting instead.
←Rate | 11-22-2015 13:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't need a safe word, but you will.
←Rate | 11-22-2015 13:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Seen a pregnant woman with 4 kids just letting them run wild in Walmart. She said "Can you believe my baby is 5 days past due?"...I said "Yeah, he was probably warned by your other kids."......And that's when the fight started....
←Rate | 11-22-2015 15:17 Comments (1)  

   messageicon When a woman says, do what you want,under any circumstance do not do what you want
←Rate | 11-22-2015 15:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 'm trying to learn to be a Magician.. But I have a question. Is it pulling a rabbit out of a hat or a hat out of the rabbit ?
←Rate | 11-22-2015 16:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wonder if Caitlyn Jenner dared to go as Bruce Jenner for Halloween.
←Rate | 11-22-2015 17:17 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon LIFE HACK: Just eat your burrito over a tortilla,,, anything that falls out, will simply start building your next burrito
←Rate | 11-22-2015 17:25 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon FYI: Every Scooby Doo episode would literally be 2 minutes long, if the gang went to the mask store 1st & asked a few questions.
←Rate | 11-22-2015 17:26 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Seriously,,, if I were a manager at Burger King, my answer to every complaint would be, “Dude, you’re at Burger King.”
←Rate | 11-22-2015 17:28 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.
←Rate | 11-22-2015 17:29 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why are we supposed to give special treatment to Black Friday, i'm just gonna come out and say it #ALLFRIDAYSMATTER
←Rate | 11-22-2015 20:19 by @kalleygirl Comments (0)  

   messageicon Was JFK killed by a lone gunman or was there a conspiracy? Compelling new evidence proves beyond doubt that it makes no difference at all. He's still dead.
←Rate | 11-23-2015 07:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I bought a $300 dollar tent so I can camp outside Best Buy for 3 days to save $20 on a TV.
←Rate | 11-23-2015 08:57 Comments (0)  

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