Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon English: even when they had guns, the still preferred to smash the sh1t out your face in a fair fight.
←Rate | 11-29-2015 07:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't take life laying down. That is, unless you're a prostitute. . .
←Rate | 11-29-2015 10:12 by JAB Comments (0)  

   messageicon White folks dance like they have an invisible hula hoop around their waist.
←Rate | 11-29-2015 10:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Cocaine so white, it quietly forms a single file line.
←Rate | 11-29-2015 11:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon On a scale of Bruno Mars to Wesley Snipes, how dark do you want your coffee?
←Rate | 11-29-2015 11:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Heavy D: Now that we found love, what are we gonna do with it? Scientist: Containment protocol, we can't have everybody catching feelings.
←Rate | 11-29-2015 11:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Kudos to all the GOP Presidential candidates for their 2 days of silence regarding the shooting victims
←Rate | 11-29-2015 11:39 Comments (1)  

   messageicon I know why blacks are always would be too if you had to go through life with a wad of pubic hair on top of your head.
←Rate | 11-29-2015 12:00 Comments (2)  

   messageicon ***LATEST SOCIAL MEDIA GAME~~~ Inbox me your Bank Account or Credit Card number (be sure to give me the expiration date and 3 digit security code) and I will post in my status which bill or Christmas gift I used it for. Let's play!!!
←Rate | 11-29-2015 12:35 by svaldez187 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just tried to make out with my wife on the couch. It was like trying to give a cat a bath.
←Rate | 11-29-2015 12:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Dallas Cowboys today announced Al Bundy as their new starting Quarterback.
←Rate | 11-29-2015 13:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Dallas Cowboys finally made it through a Sunday without losing.
←Rate | 11-29-2015 16:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon NYC Detective: One of you is an octopus,,,, who is it?... *Everyone points at me.... Including Susan, with all eight of her arms*
←Rate | 11-29-2015 17:48 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I like big PUTTS & I can not lie,,, You other golfers can't deny,,, When a ball rolls in with a slow topspin & the caddy moves the pin, you get PAR
←Rate | 11-29-2015 17:51 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon "You promise you didn't get me bees again?"............ [me from a distance].... JUST OPEN IT
←Rate | 11-29-2015 18:05 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon *arrives at hospital carrying a tiny chair... " Ummmm, Yes,,,, Where would you like my stool sample?"
←Rate | 11-29-2015 18:13 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I paid 4 the lady in front of me at Starbucks. She hugged me. Deciding when it's the right time 2 tell her I hit her car in the parking lot.
←Rate | 11-29-2015 22:08 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I listen to gangsta rap sprinkled with a little Adele. Will I murder you? Will I buy you a puppy? You never know.
←Rate | 11-29-2015 23:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This guy just climbed through a thicket of waist-high shrubbery to avoid walking past me. That's the kind of anti-social I aspire to be.
←Rate | 11-29-2015 23:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Аliens would laugh if they knew the smartest spесies on the planet still kills each other over religion.
←Rate | 11-30-2015 00:05 by Czovczov Comments (0)  

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