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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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My daughter just asked me about evolution in line at Walmart.
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02-01-2016 11:50
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If you'd like to be left alone just carry a doll everywhere you go.
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02-01-2016 11:51
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If there's a woman out there who wants to $exually harass me, let me know.. I will message you my cell # . . .
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02-01-2016 15:27 by
JAB
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What one person receives without working for .... another person must work for without receiving
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02-01-2016 15:44
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365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling equals 1 light year
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02-01-2016 15:49
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..... Hmmmm ...... Whay are there Interstate Highways in Hawaii?
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02-01-2016 16:02
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How come when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
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02-01-2016 16:05
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
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02-01-2016 16:17
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..... The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
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02-01-2016 16:18
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Most people my age are older than me.
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02-01-2016 16:35 by
snotty
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Bernie Sanders said recently that he loves taking selfies. Well ... once he figures out how to take them on his rotary phone that is.
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02-01-2016 16:59
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Hillary Clinton announced she has joined Instagram to help with her campain ..... . Meanwhile .... Bernie Sanders joined telegram.
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02-01-2016 17:03
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Dear justin beiber haters Please respect him.. I owe my life to him last year I was in a coma for 4 months due to a terrible car accident.. One day my nurse turned on the radio to Justin's song...I got up and turned off the radio
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02-02-2016 09:48
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Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
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02-02-2016 10:55 by
aznsensation
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My son got a Student of the Month award today. It wasn't his, but still...
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02-02-2016 10:57 by
aznsensation
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A midget fortuneteller broke out of the county jail. Police report there is a small medium at large.
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02-02-2016 13:52
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When I'm down to my last bit of weed, I like to take my time and savor the thought of who will be my first stabbing victim.
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02-02-2016 15:41 by
Nipper
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Sometimes I prefer to use my face for emoticons.
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02-02-2016 16:11 by
@truebeachbabe
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I have to be successful because I have very expensive taste.
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02-02-2016 16:12 by
@truebeachbabe
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I'll stop wearing black when they invent a darker color.
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02-02-2016 16:12 by
@truebeachbabe
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