Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I hate snakes, mainly because they have no feet- you could say I am lack-toes intolerant...
←Rate | 10-14-2015 14:32 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe I'm old school, but I like women with eyebrows actually made out of hair.
←Rate | 10-14-2015 14:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a guy don't text you back, he's probably reading the bible or volunteering at an animal shelter. Men don't cheat, idk who lied to y'all.
←Rate | 10-14-2015 14:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got all my Christmas gifts bought early this year, hope everyone likes Halloween costumes-
←Rate | 10-14-2015 15:26 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got rid of all the bad influence people in my life and now I'm bored.
←Rate | 10-15-2015 01:04 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You condemn me as the devil himself in an attempt to erase my spark But since the devil don't exist where I am, he could only be where you are
←Rate | 10-15-2015 08:32 by Will Iam Not Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am so happy one of my favourite things is about to start, the ALC series. Another one of my favourite things begins with ALC, ALCOHOL!
←Rate | 10-15-2015 08:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where are all the Cubs fans now?
←Rate | 10-15-2015 10:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Old world problems were to get crumbs from the computer keyboard... new world problems removing the crumbs that fall between the glass plate and smartphone case
←Rate | 10-15-2015 13:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The genie that I rubbed to get my three wishes was not a genie at all. Anyone got bail money?
←Rate | 10-15-2015 15:20 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon She was full-figured, and I loved her in spite of the extra duct tape I had to buy.
←Rate | 10-15-2015 17:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We had the kind of love that lasted till our phones died.
←Rate | 10-15-2015 17:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon And then her mood ring just...exploded.
←Rate | 10-15-2015 17:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Recommended doses aren't the boss of me.
←Rate | 10-15-2015 17:34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I need to stop lying to myself !!! This bag of Reese cups will never make it to Halloween !
←Rate | 10-15-2015 17:58 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon They can quit giving me phone books. Just saying
←Rate | 10-15-2015 18:01 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just overheard this damn near 65 year old lady say, "I'm still single cuz I ain't met the right man yet." Thought to myself, "Oh, you gonna meet him soon. His name is Jesus..."
←Rate | 10-15-2015 18:11 by Scmc1st Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am tired of living in the Divided States Of America
←Rate | 10-15-2015 22:19 Comments (1)  


   messageicon My nakedness is irrelevant to you at this point
←Rate | 10-15-2015 23:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am tired of thinking for myself, bring on the socialism.
←Rate | 10-16-2015 00:47 Comments (0)  



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