Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I expect to see a speeding ticket for a DeLorean going at least 89MPH today.
←Rate | 10-21-2015 16:01 by lkl627 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..... I turned my Back on the Back to the Future Day today. Where's my Hoverboard dammit?
←Rate | 10-21-2015 22:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Back to the future was yesterday people hello the 21st not the 22nd retards
←Rate | 10-22-2015 16:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The reason why you don't have a hoverboard is because Marty McFly and Doc Brown screwed up the timeline with their time traveling
←Rate | 10-22-2015 17:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon as it turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist's finger before she stops believing that you're doing it accidentally.
←Rate | 10-22-2015 19:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congrats to Lamar Odom. The first guy to have cocaine and bookers actually save his marriage.
←Rate | 10-22-2015 19:50 by Jeff W Comments (1)  


   messageicon eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How fcuking ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone??
←Rate | 10-22-2015 21:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Paul Ryan joins older siblings, Rex and Rob, in attempt to lead dozens of grown men determined to undermine him.
←Rate | 10-22-2015 22:14 by DS Comments (0)  


   messageicon look at this, it's a stick man rubbing his butt on the ground! ________&_________
←Rate | 10-22-2015 23:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon let my personalities out for a night...I woke up with two hookers, a penguin, a pineapple, five teeth missing, and a tattoo that read "I'M FREE".
←Rate | 10-22-2015 23:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After years of observation,multiple hypothesis,well-structured analysis and deeply reviewed interpretations.I finally came to ONE CONCLUSION: I'M NOT NORMAL
←Rate | 10-22-2015 23:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The hardest job in the world must be working in a bubble wrap factory. Can you imagine the self control that is required to work there, "must not pop bubbles"
←Rate | 10-22-2015 23:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people always make jokes insinuating that people who use crayons are crazy? I like my crayons! Especially the blue one. It makes my poo purple
←Rate | 10-22-2015 23:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you can`t beat them...get some duct tape,rope,and a tazor >:3
←Rate | 10-22-2015 23:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone loved Jack-in-the-box as kids...but now that I'm older I prefer mine in-a-bottle!
←Rate | 10-22-2015 23:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't beat them let THEM join you, THEN beat them.
←Rate | 10-23-2015 11:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet it was like a bad nightmare when Lamar Odom woke up, not that he was in a hospital but that hes back in the Kardashian family.....
←Rate | 10-23-2015 12:26 by Big D Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's refer these annoying mereeecans as south Canadians. Game set match
←Rate | 10-23-2015 16:36 Comments (1)  


   messageicon For Halloween I’m handing out office supplies that I’ve stolen from work..paper clips..pencils..erasers..pens..toilet paper..hand sanitizer..Kleenex..Cigars.
←Rate | 10-23-2015 17:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a puppy stabbed me in the face and stole my car, I'd still be like, "aww."
←Rate | 10-23-2015 17:11 by SteveOH Comments (0)  



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