Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Wow ........ turns out, any Room is a Panic Room .......... when you've had 5 Cups of Coffee and a Bran Muffin!
←Rate | 10-19-2015 22:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon WELCOME TO THE DARK SIDE ......... WE HAVE ...... well, I'm not sure WHAT we have actually ....... it is Very Dark in here.
←Rate | 10-19-2015 22:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was driving Home when I saw a Hitch Hiker holding a sign that said, "Heaven Bound." .......... Me being the Good Samaritan that I am, drove completely out of my way ......... To hit Him ......... I'm glad I could help him On his Way.
←Rate | 10-19-2015 22:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
←Rate | 10-19-2015 22:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses....
←Rate | 10-19-2015 22:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Welcome to the Dark Side,we stamps.
←Rate | 10-20-2015 08:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Avoiding responsibility one bottle of vodka at a time.
←Rate | 10-20-2015 11:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A woman told me that I was right today. Did hell finally freeze over?
←Rate | 10-20-2015 11:37 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bring back cheap smokes and the stubby bottle, there's a Trudeau driving Canada again
←Rate | 10-20-2015 12:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, your pants are tucked into your shirt. Think about it.
←Rate | 10-20-2015 15:58 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'd like a boob job. Like, a job where I just look at boobs all day.
←Rate | 10-20-2015 22:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon it safe to snort coffee grinds? Asking for a friend..
←Rate | 10-20-2015 23:03 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Hey people who actaully spend money on selfie sticks; since you like buying dumb sh*t, I am also selling ...
←Rate | 10-21-2015 08:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world
←Rate | 10-21-2015 10:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Who cares if its back to the future day The real version is Marty is on welfare and Doc is in jail for touching little boys.
←Rate | 10-21-2015 12:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If there was an earthquake today, Marty McFly wouldn't notice.
←Rate | 10-21-2015 12:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon So who is going to go see Jaws 19 in 3d with me tonight?
←Rate | 10-21-2015 13:00 by DeAdMaN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Welcome back Marty McFly...and Dr. Emmett Brown ...Great scott.!!!
←Rate | 10-21-2015 14:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon .... Just think ..... after this week ...... everything in "Back to the Future" will take place entirely in the past!
←Rate | 10-21-2015 14:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Fun Fact: It took 4 trips back in time before Marty McFly was able to resist having sex with his mother.
←Rate | 10-21-2015 15:08 Comments (0)  

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