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The best revenge is living well, so I really need to know what the second best revenge is. 
Even my dinner tasted like Monday
I'm thinking of going back to school and getting my PHD in bations. I already have my Masters.
It's amazing how many pedestrians confuse right-of-way with immortality.
Some things need no improving, three stooges for instsn
My husband is on the roof - only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life.
... and then the Devil said,,, "Shorten all the charging wires to no more than a 3 foot length."
Life gave me onions........ P.S. Onionade sucks.
"Use the forceps, Luke!" - Obi Gyn Kenobi
I do so declare that from this day forward fake potatoes shall be known as "imitaters."...Please adjust your records and recipes accordingly...Thank you
*stands up in meeting... *wipes boss's chin... Sorry, you had some nonsense coming out of your mouth... *wipes hand on pants
lots of confidence, but I still hate you.
I was asked which is my favorite of the "X-Men". Apparently "Caitlyn Jenner" was an inappropriate answer.
So if your are religious you are not accountable for anything? The devil made me you do it?
OBama: Tears of a clown!
"Yo fat man those new suspenders is TIGHT!"~ All my Knickers and my Britches
Return to work after vacation with fresh, re-energized hatred for your job.
Oh, thats a picture of you when you were "younger"? ALL photos of you were when you were younger. Unless you have a time machine. Which you don't.
Remember Folks: A day without sunshine is...like, well...night.
Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat...now THAT'S bad for you.
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