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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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The best revenge is living well, so I really need to know what the second best revenge is.
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01-04-2016 17:47 by
snotty
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Even my dinner tasted like Monday
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01-04-2016 21:04 by
flipphonescott
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I'm thinking of going back to school and getting my PHD in bations. I already have my Masters.
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01-04-2016 22:33 by
iplsports
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It's amazing how many pedestrians confuse right-of-way with immortality.
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01-05-2016 05:50
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Some things need no improving, three stooges for instsn
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01-05-2016 10:41 by
Smeebert
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My husband is on the roof - only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life.
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01-05-2016 14:16
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... and then the Devil said,,, "Shorten all the charging wires to no more than a 3 foot length."
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01-05-2016 20:12 by
snotty
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Life gave me onions........ P.S. Onionade sucks.
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01-05-2016 20:18 by
snotty
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"Use the forceps, Luke!" - Obi Gyn Kenobi
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01-05-2016 20:19 by
snotty
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I do so declare that from this day forward fake potatoes shall be known as "imitaters."...Please adjust your records and recipes accordingly...Thank you
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01-05-2016 20:27
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*stands up in meeting... *wipes boss's chin... Sorry, you had some nonsense coming out of your mouth... *wipes hand on pants
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01-05-2016 20:29 by
snotty
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lots of confidence, but I still hate you.
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01-05-2016 23:46
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I was asked which is my favorite of the "X-Men". Apparently "Caitlyn Jenner" was an inappropriate answer.
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01-06-2016 06:56
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So if your are religious you are not accountable for anything? The devil made me you do it?
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01-06-2016 07:31
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OBama: Tears of a clown!
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01-06-2016 07:51
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"Yo fat man those new suspenders is TIGHT!"~ All my Knickers and my Britches
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01-06-2016 08:17
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Return to work after vacation with fresh, re-energized hatred for your job.
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01-06-2016 09:25
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Oh, thats a picture of you when you were "younger"? ALL photos of you were when you were younger. Unless you have a time machine. Which you don't.
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01-06-2016 09:42
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Remember Folks: A day without sunshine is...like, well...night.
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01-06-2016 09:46
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Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat...now THAT'S bad for you.
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01-06-2016 09:48
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