Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon The best revenge is living well, so I really need to know what the second best revenge is.
←Rate | 01-04-2016 17:47 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even my dinner tasted like Monday
←Rate | 01-04-2016 21:04 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm thinking of going back to school and getting my PHD in bations. I already have my Masters.
←Rate | 01-04-2016 22:33 by iplsports Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's amazing how many pedestrians confuse right-of-way with immortality.
←Rate | 01-05-2016 05:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some things need no improving, three stooges for instsn
←Rate | 01-05-2016 10:41 by Smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon My husband is on the roof - only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life.
←Rate | 01-05-2016 14:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ... and then the Devil said,,, "Shorten all the charging wires to no more than a 3 foot length."
←Rate | 01-05-2016 20:12 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life gave me onions........ P.S. Onionade sucks.
←Rate | 01-05-2016 20:18 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Use the forceps, Luke!" - Obi Gyn Kenobi
←Rate | 01-05-2016 20:19 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do so declare that from this day forward fake potatoes shall be known as "imitaters."...Please adjust your records and recipes accordingly...Thank you
←Rate | 01-05-2016 20:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon *stands up in meeting... *wipes boss's chin... Sorry, you had some nonsense coming out of your mouth... *wipes hand on pants
←Rate | 01-05-2016 20:29 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon lots of confidence, but I still hate you.
←Rate | 01-05-2016 23:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was asked which is my favorite of the "X-Men". Apparently "Caitlyn Jenner" was an inappropriate answer.
←Rate | 01-06-2016 06:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if your are religious you are not accountable for anything? The devil made me you do it?
←Rate | 01-06-2016 07:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon OBama: Tears of a clown!
←Rate | 01-06-2016 07:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Yo fat man those new suspenders is TIGHT!"~ All my Knickers and my Britches
←Rate | 01-06-2016 08:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Return to work after vacation with fresh, re-energized hatred for your job.
←Rate | 01-06-2016 09:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, thats a picture of you when you were "younger"? ALL photos of you were when you were younger. Unless you have a time machine. Which you don't.
←Rate | 01-06-2016 09:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember Folks: A day without sunshine is...like, well...night.
←Rate | 01-06-2016 09:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat...now THAT'S bad for you.
←Rate | 01-06-2016 09:48 Comments (0)  



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