Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I heard that breathing can give you cancer.
←Rate | 08-30-2015 12:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some days, all I want is some ketchup packets placed in the bag, without having to ask. That is all.
←Rate | 08-30-2015 12:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife is so annoying. "Do you think I'm sexy? Am I hot? How gorgeous am I? Do I have a nice ass?" I just want her to answer me.
←Rate | 08-30-2015 12:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Underwear is for pussies See what I did there? .. Sigh.. Brilliant
←Rate | 08-30-2015 12:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Stevie wonder is blind and can play the piano but I can't get a text back 😒
←Rate | 08-30-2015 12:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Fruit flies. Is there anything nowadays that isn't gay?
←Rate | 08-30-2015 12:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing makes a room feel emptier than wanting someone in it. J
←Rate | 08-30-2015 13:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you're an adult, you don't have haters. You're just a showoff .
←Rate | 08-30-2015 15:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Have you ever turned the radio station and the same song was on..happened to me
←Rate | 08-30-2015 21:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon it in bad taste to ask if Wes Craven died in his sleep?
←Rate | 08-30-2015 22:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Taylor should Have Grab The Mic from Kanye west and Said "im sorry, but MLK jr. Had the best speech of all time"
←Rate | 08-31-2015 00:30 by VamNate Comments (0)  

   messageicon Kanye even went as far to become a Kardashian to get into the spotlight.
←Rate | 08-31-2015 00:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You knew how I chew when you agreed to marry me.
←Rate | 08-31-2015 01:58 by Czovczov Comments (0)  

   messageicon 2020 will be like any other election...Kanye will vote for Kanye
←Rate | 08-31-2015 02:15 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hope you're feeling OK after being sexually violated by Miley Cyrus last night.
←Rate | 08-31-2015 10:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if Kanye did become president, the first lady will be. . . let that sit in
←Rate | 08-31-2015 12:03 by randygalaxy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wonder if, Wes Craven died in his sleep....Or did he go out with a Scream?
←Rate | 08-31-2015 12:26 by Lil-David Comments (0)  

   messageicon I once took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name
←Rate | 08-31-2015 22:07 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Uber driver almost crashed twice. 5 stars. Very exciting.
←Rate | 08-31-2015 23:44 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy 35th Birthday Pac-Man!
←Rate | 09-01-2015 08:25 Comments (1)  

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