Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5098 of 5214

   messageicon Just watched an entire TV show without being on my phone just like they did on the Mayflower.
←Rate | 08-30-2015 08:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard that breathing can give you cancer.
←Rate | 08-30-2015 12:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some days, all I want is some ketchup packets placed in the bag, without having to ask. That is all.
←Rate | 08-30-2015 12:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is so annoying. "Do you think I'm sexy? Am I hot? How gorgeous am I? Do I have a nice ass?" I just want her to answer me.
←Rate | 08-30-2015 12:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Underwear is for pussies See what I did there? .. Sigh.. Brilliant
←Rate | 08-30-2015 12:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stevie wonder is blind and can play the piano but I can't get a text back 😒
←Rate | 08-30-2015 12:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fruit flies. Is there anything nowadays that isn't gay?
←Rate | 08-30-2015 12:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing makes a room feel emptier than wanting someone in it. J
←Rate | 08-30-2015 13:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're an adult, you don't have haters. You're just a showoff .
←Rate | 08-30-2015 15:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever turned the radio station and the same song was on..happened to me
←Rate | 08-30-2015 21:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it in bad taste to ask if Wes Craven died in his sleep?
←Rate | 08-30-2015 22:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taylor should Have Grab The Mic from Kanye west and Said "im sorry, but MLK jr. Had the best speech of all time"
←Rate | 08-31-2015 00:30 by VamNate Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kanye even went as far to become a Kardashian to get into the spotlight.
←Rate | 08-31-2015 00:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You knew how I chew when you agreed to marry me.
←Rate | 08-31-2015 01:58 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2020 will be like any other election...Kanye will vote for Kanye
←Rate | 08-31-2015 02:15 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hope you're feeling OK after being sexually violated by Miley Cyrus last night.
←Rate | 08-31-2015 10:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if Kanye did become president, the first lady will be. . . let that sit in
←Rate | 08-31-2015 12:03 by randygalaxy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if, Wes Craven died in his sleep....Or did he go out with a Scream?
←Rate | 08-31-2015 12:26 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon I once took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name
←Rate | 08-31-2015 22:07 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Uber driver almost crashed twice. 5 stars. Very exciting.
←Rate | 08-31-2015 23:44 by snotty Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left