Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Proximo Gobernador de Antioquia
←Rate | 10-07-2015 13:03 by @andresguerra Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know the ZZ Top song, Sharp Dressed Man? I stop singing after "every girls crazy"
←Rate | 10-07-2015 16:24 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sending us to the couch is not as bad as you think it is ladies. It makes us feel manly... like we're camping... with an angry bear nearby.
←Rate | 10-07-2015 19:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Calm your tit. Just one tit. Leave your other one crazy and out of control. That's your party tit.
←Rate | 10-07-2015 19:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon What idiot called it "leaving right after sex" and not "nuts and bolts" ?
←Rate | 10-07-2015 19:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon We just got a fax at work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.
←Rate | 10-07-2015 19:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who decided to call the man purse a satchel and not a douchebag?
←Rate | 10-07-2015 19:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do we only crave what's bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, cake... You never hear anyone say "I'd kill for some salad."
←Rate | 10-07-2015 19:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have an appointment with a psychiatrist over some rental property I just acquired. I think I have an apartment complex.
←Rate | 10-07-2015 20:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mar7hall vs BEiO They are back like 2 years ago.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 00:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everytime Kayne is caught smiling he has to be a cheerleader at a college football game!
←Rate | 10-08-2015 00:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I live with fear every day.....sometimes she lets me go fishing!
←Rate | 10-08-2015 05:21 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 06:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently you have to eat healthy more than once to get in shape. This is cruel and unfair.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 08:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kill that blower or blow that killer.... Whatever
←Rate | 10-08-2015 08:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care if you catch me creeping your page. I'll like 74 of your posts in a row, what you gonna do about it.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If 90's R&B comes on in the bedroom, we making a baby. I don't care.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Winter is coming. Women about to steal your heart and your hoodie.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you gotta look thru someone's phone, you shouldn't be with 'em. Quit being insecure, that sh*t is unattractive.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't text me after 11 pm unless you're offering me sex or bringing me food.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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