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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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my girlfriend told me she’s leaving me because of my Justin Beiber obsession, I responded “sorry, what do you mean?”
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12-22-2015 02:54
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You are having sex before marriage but when it comes to enjoying this bacon all of sudden ‘religion’ doesn't allow
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12-22-2015 02:55
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Relationship status: I don't need love. I need money right now.
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12-22-2015 06:24
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I would win Dean's Award if Steve Harvey hosted my graduation.
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12-22-2015 08:53
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Just when I thought I'd never get the chance to hear a Presidential candidate say "schlong"..
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12-22-2015 15:54 by
Boz
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Tim Burton films used to be deep, now they're just depp.
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12-22-2015 17:16
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Cousins are Cool to see, Impossible to Forget and True to your heart.
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12-23-2015 01:35
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I'm an adult and I still believe in Santa clause, I figure why not? There's still adults who believe in Obama.
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12-23-2015 04:49
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i'm offened that people get offened
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12-23-2015 05:38
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Jesus was born in october. Just saying...
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12-23-2015 07:07
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All you have to do is copy and paste this status and FB will award 200 on people. FB is such a great mode of transporting lies to the naive.
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12-23-2015 08:45
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In the future we will type with our toes to keep our hands free for punching robots.
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12-23-2015 08:52 by
snotty
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FYI: A group of meth labs is called a "Missouri."
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12-23-2015 08:58 by
snotty
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Today is the official day for guys to start their Xmas shopping
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12-23-2015 09:41
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♫♪ " ...It's beginning to look a lot like ̶̶C̶̶H̶̶R̶̶I̶̶S̶̶T̶̶M̶̶A̶̶S̶̶ El Niño, everywhere I go..." ♫♪
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12-23-2015 09:54 by
Jiffy Pop
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I don't think we should put elementary school teachers in a position where kids can say " the president calls people ugly and losers so why can't I"?
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12-23-2015 13:23
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I dont think the ugly loser should become president!
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12-23-2015 16:41 by
MC
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"Joseph was engaged to Mary, but she then revealed she's pregnant. You won't BELIEVE who she says the baby daddy is......Today on MAURY".
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12-23-2015 18:01
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somedays my inner child kinda runs the place
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12-23-2015 20:00 by
flipphonescott
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If you're atheist so don't celebrate Christmas
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12-23-2015 21:06
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