Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   *Airplane PA.... "Arrr, this be yer cap'n speaking"... *covers microphone... [muffled] "Dangit Roger,, you have it set on autopirate again"

   "Hey, Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me."...*shakes tambourine ... "Got any others?"... *shakes tambourine... "Hmmm,,, Sounds a lot like the last one"

   Do you, Karen, take David the Optometrist to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse? Better... or worse?... How about now?,,, Better... or worse?

   Consumerism has a religious day called Black Friday.

   A word from our sponsors. Gobble, gobble, gobble. Because it's Thanksgiving and gobble, gobble. . .

   I would say Happy Thanksgiving but no one cares cuz they're hungover

   I bet Payton Mannings family is going to have a hard time eating today. Every time someone asks him to pass the turkey, it's going to get intercepted

   Black Friday Separating Americans from money they don't really have since 1966.

   I don't know what it is But it's on sale!

   Don't forget to have a thought and a prayer for the poors when you buy your useless stuff this weekend

   Adulthood is just another word for 'liver damage'.

   The Pilgrims were refugees and the Native Americans took them in, fed them and helped them, don't ever forget

   Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy sh*t we don't need

   “It is the preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else that prevents us from living freely and nobly.” ― Bertrand Russell

   Everything gets stolen this Friday, because it's Black Friday

   How did taking in refugees work for the native Americans? Dont ever forget that

   ....... Well ... now that Thanksgiving is over ... I'm fed up ...

   I think I've gobbled up about as much as I can gobble on Turkey Day.

   Don't foget to set you scales back 10 pound this weekend!!!

   Led Zeppelin doesn't have to be your favorite band. But if they're not one of your top three, we shouldn't be friends. . .